I don’t even know where to begin because of how upset I am. My mother moved in with my 89-year-old grandmother to take care of her and be her caregiver. She has rapidly declined in the past year and has had multiple hospital stays and then to rehabs to get better. After one of her rehab stays the rehab was terrible and was trying to send her back home without anything she needed as she was then bed bound and couldn’t walk and had a urinary tract infection. We didn’t go pick her up because we needed to get the stuff she needed, the rehab called APS and said we abandoned her, which wasn’t the case we just needed them to get us set up with a hospital bed etc. We got contacted by the APS worker who was immediately accusatory and started threatening us immediately, so we of course didn’t trust her. She got sent home to us from another facility but this time we made sure they got us set up with what she needed. She came home and the APS worker kept showing up at the home banging on the door and my mother wouldn’t let her in because she didn’t trust her and my grandma was sort of a hoarder but I went down and cleaned out the whole living room to get the hospital bed set up and set up a bed next to her for my mom. So we were scared she would immediately take my grandma if she noticed it was a little messy. She then returned with a cop and my mother let the cop in and he seen my grandma was fine and escorted the APS worker off the property from there she called me and said she submitted paperwork and there’s nothing else she can do we will be in court August 2nd for them to try and take my grandma from us and give her to a complete stranger that already has 13 other elderly people under her guardianship. I know we probably should have let her in but we were so scared with her threats of her taking my grandma because of the house but we are working to make it better. We also had nurses coming in to check on her. She currently is in the hospital with a hole in her kidney and was severely dehydrated from the last nursing home she was in and the hospital informed us we are now not allowed to go bring my grandma home because of this APS worker and said if we try they will petition for an emergency court hearing. I guess my questions is how hard is this fight going to be, are we fighting a losing battle? We don’t have any money for a lawyer so my mother is thinking about selling her home to pay for one and free legal help apparently doesn’t do these cases. My grandma owns several properties as well, will they take it all if they take her from us and give her to some lady? I cannot believe this is even a thing to take someone from their family who loves them and give them to a stranger, it is freaking me out so bad. Not only do we have to deal with the mental duress of my grandmother being at the end stages of life we now have to fight to keep her with us, is disgusting.
YES.
If your grandma has severe dementia (mild dementia doesn’t matter), then the court will judge her mentally incompetent. Then the judge must decide whether the family can care for her, or the State. The judge will also ask your grandma what her preference is.
(If she’s mentally competent, then she can make her own decisions, then she doesn’t need a guardian. It seems from what you say, that your grandma does have severe dementia.)
If you lose, if grandma is ordered a guardian from the State, then that guardian will have FULL CONTROL of your grandma’s medical decisions AND financial decisions. That guardian can even cut all contact between grandma and family if family is behaving in a way that’s “bad for grandma”. Sometimes, the State guardian is honest and makes decisions in the best interests of your grandma. Sometimes, the State guardian is just a thief, and will find legal and sneaky ways to steal your grandma’s property, assets.
If your grandma had been very poor, APS maybe wouldn’t have been that interested in fighting over her. Sometimes, it’s just about the money. Rich elderly person? Let’s try to take control.
In general, the court prefers that the family is the guardian. But if APS shows the family was negligent…
I hope you can win your case.
A guardian can put limitations but must have very legitimate reasons for doing this because it can be challenged in court. I went through certification training to be employed as a public guardian but I work in a different field overseas now.
My sympathy to you having another tough choice in the battle of caregivers and diseases of mental issues.
Take out a loan, borrow from friends, put it on a credit card (we did), maybe something else, but regardless, if you want to keep her out of State guardianship, hiring an attorney is advised.
Your mother shouldn’t sell her home to pay for legal help because she has to have a place to live and where would she go?
When you say that Grandmom will be given to someone with 13 other people I am assuming that your grandmother is going to be placed under guardianship of the state and placed in care with a court appointed Fiduciary? It would not be at all unusual for a Court Fiduciary to be responsible for the care and management of 12 other people if they are placed in care. The Fiduciary will manage placement and management of grandmon's finances. Family will be notified where she is place.
Your family, for whatEVER reason, has not cooperated with APS. This has apparently resulted from all I can tell or guess at, in a court judgement. The Courts will never allow a senior to remain in a hoarded house due to safety issues imho.
You at this point need an attorney to represent you. I am so sorry. I wish you the best of luck.
You tell this person who is trying (just my opionion) to cram a billion thoughts, issues, frustrations and the list goes on... into a short story just so that YOU can be comfortable understanding her issues.
Well, I have tried to post numerous times. Spent hours trying to convey the current situation that I am living with. This person sharing with everyone is trying to do is ask for help. Again, I am just giving my opinion.
I have and still go through scenarios that would most likely send you to a different forum just to comprehend the issues I simply cannot describe to my satisfaction.
I have been through APS - joke. I had proof of "undue infulence". Oh yes, by the way this was after my sister reported ME for ...
Oh yes, let's not forget that I was placed in jail for Adult Edler Abuse that did not happen. Yet mom was angry and called sister and sister convinced police that I hit her.
Mom was 98 lbs. at that time and had bruises from all of the bloodwork - oh, I ended up going to jail... having a felony charge now on my record. I am the only caregiver yet sister has POA DPOA MULTIPLE FUNERAL HOME ARRANGEMENTS THAT WERE DONE IN 2002 ALREADY, HER BANK ACCT., HER CAR, EVERYTHING IN HER NAME ALONG WITH MOM.
SISTER HAS CONVINCED EVERY MEMBER OF FAMILY THAT I AM THE MOST EVIL PERSON AND THAT SHE (10 YRS. AGO WHEN I DID NOT EVEN LIVE HERE) HAD EVERYTHING DONE BY HER EX HUBBY'S DAD - JUST HAPPENS TO BE THE LARGEST ATTNY IN TOWN... WAIT, I AM LEAVING OUT SOME STUFF... DO YOU HAVE ANOTHER YEAR OR TWO?
Whatever this person is trying to convey is the best this person most likely can do at this moment in time.
My mother owns nothing, just this tin can and a car that for some sick reason sister does not want me-24/7 caregiver, home repair person, abuse taking idiot that stays for some reason. 7 yrs. now.
I have a mother that changes her story as soon as I have to leave the house to buy her everything she wants. Sister lives 15 mins. away.
2 homes, one in PR - one hear on the beach $1 mill... boat, travel camper, blah blah but what I have her on record of saying that she most wants is to make sure she shares with mom and my now non-existent family is "remember mom, no house, no car, til she's dead". Meaning me dead in case this is a little confusing.
So, that is just the beginning - any questions?
That "I am so sorry. I wish you the best of luck" statement was in my opinion --
As far as your knowing what the court will allow or not allow... I can assure you, when it comes to the legal system they are subject to change at any given moment-depends on their day I suppose. I watched my beloved 94 yrs. old neighbor live just that way even after I exhausted every effort on her behalf--with her loving (sarcasm) family.
Oh yes, I loved the advice to get an attorney! Not so easy and practical for some people. I am certain this person would not have to try and get support on this site if they could just pop on in to the nearest elder law attorney and snap her fingers and "ALL'S WELL".
If you are unclear as to the message I am trying to clearly get across to YOU...
This is a forum for assistance for people that just don't know what to do, which end is up, why am I even still here and I sure could use some support and constructive advice.
I have no clear clue. Overdone by the fun oh yes, perhaps a wee bit of caregiver burnout. Perhaps a little anger issue. Do not advise, please. If you have anything to say, contact my attorney. If I had one.
Have a nice day. Try to be a little kinder. I am certain you will know the best words to convey to the people exactly what I mean.
What you have posted may be correct but in my County it did not happen this way. A woman I know was asked to take guardianship over for her cousin when the parent was dying. She did it. She never had to take him into her home, because of his mental challenges he had been placed in a home where a couple oversaw his care. So this woman was now in her 70s approaching 80 and her husband is diagnosed with ALZ and her Mom was placed in LTC. Because of caring for her husband the duties of a guardian were getting too much so she asked the State if they would take over his care, they refused. She told her story to a State Senator and he took her request again to the State and they took over the now 50+yr old mans care leaving him in the couples care, the woman thought. She called the couple and found out he had been taken from the home by APS. They were told that they were not to call this woman. Nor did APS call her. She had no idea where they placed him. She tried every channel she could. No one could help her. This man was pulled away from the people who had cared for him and the only relative he knew. They did not care about taking that man away from everything he knew. Only recently did she find out where he was and how he was doing but she is still not allowed to see him.
Doesn't sound right.
I've just read where fraud has become common in the public guardianship process. The story was out of the U.S. State of Michigan. I also found links to a support group trying to help victims. If this has become pervasive, it needs public attention!
Family is given a chance to object to a guardianship petition if APS gets the state to file for guardianship. I can't tell if you're saying that's already happened or if they're just threatening. If your grandma's able to speak, judges are supposed to take their wishes in consideration too. Even if they have dementia or other handicaps.
The only reason I can think of for them to be able to take her is if there's been neglect or abuse. Or if the guardian your grandma chose was disqualifed for some reason or didn't want to be her guardian.
How can you guys be blamed for the house? You said it was your grandma who's the hoarder and you guys were trying to clean it up for her so it would be safe after she discharged back home, right? It doesn't make sense.