My 77-year-old mother’s medical and mental health seems to be declining. Right now, her main diagnoses are mild cognitive impairment, alcohol use disorder, and depression; however she was recently hospitalized due to a suicide attempt. We are working with the hospital on a safe discharge plan, but I am noticing changes in her presentation (for example, a very labile mood, increased irritation, and lowered inhibitions.) She has full neuropsych testing in a couple weeks and I am wondering if POA will be recommended. (They have it setup to be a springing POA).
While I want to help, I also know my limitations. I make a very modest income and have only budgeted money in the few thousands. My mom is a retired doctor, wealthy, and has very complicated assets that have become VERY enmeshed with my sibling. My uncle is the trust officer so I am hopeful we can work together. Are there any good resources for someone new to the financial world stepping into financial POA? (Trainings, classes, wealth mgmt, etc.)
If you’re looking to learn more about POA’s, consult with an elder attorney and explain your concerns.
Where is your mom being discharged? Your home? Her home? Your sister’s home?
We have a trust and it is set up so that the trustees or PoAs can pay for legal help from the trust itself. See if this is the case for your Mom's trust. Caregiving for her should not cost you either money or your mental/physical health. Stuggles over her assets and "inheritance" issues will be very stressful and complicating. Be sure you want to become part of this... sounds like it is already heading in that direction.
Firstly, you seem not aware that as you serve as POA YOU do not pay. The funds of the person you are serving pays their bills; and can even pay a small fee to you if that is stipulated in the POA papers.
A springing POA will work but do know also that a POA doesn't control the trust and cannot draw finances from the trust or access the trust or draw funds from the trust. The trustee of the trust is likely still your parent who created it unless uncle is already appointed to act for the trust. If he is then HE will be paying all bills. If you are POA you will be choosing placement if needed, but this is complicated if Uncle says "The trust won't pay that much for a facility". One person serving as POA and one as Trustee of Trust is my idea of the perfect nightmare from Hades.
What I am saying to you here is that if your Mom's assets are in a Trust primarily, with some in a POA, only the POA would be in your control. Yet you would be responsible for paying bills, placement, care, et al.
As this is complicated you need NOW to get to an elder law attorney, taking a copy of springing POA. I think you will get information from him and may decide not to even act where another entity, the Trust is so in control of things. I sure would not. I think you need to know all about the awful duties of getting together a way to keep meticulous records, paying all bills, who pays what and etc.
If your Mom still has capacity and competency she can now make you Trustee of Trust IF you are competent yourself to handle what you would have to or to hire a fiduciary to do it. You/she/and her attorney can draw up a new POA if she wishes (it was my brother who asked me to act for him). You and she can add your name as POA to all accounts and give your name as signer of checks as POA with an allowance going to Mom. All of this IF she is competent still and IF she wishes it.
I myself found this hard work. I would never have done it for anyone but the gentlest, kindest, most willing and cooperative man in the world--and the most organized. Talking about my bro. And I would never do it again. Especially if there is wealth and other family involved. No way. No way. And no way.
But up to you.
Speak to an attorney (elder law) now. Don't make a move in ANY of this without speaking to a very GOOD elder attorney for advice about options.
Being POA and needing to direct/arrange mom's care without being "in charge" of her funds could be tricky. Is Uncle understanding that good care costs lots of money?
Enmeshed sis is indeed a red flag. Mom needs PROFESSIONAL CARE. Not an enmeshed adult child who might be looking to maximize their inheritance.
www.bogleheads.org is an excellent site to gain a financial education and ask questions like these.
I also was appointed conservator for my mom by a judge. My attorney educated me about the financial form required by her state. It was a good learning process and I continue to use the form for accounting for myself post inheritance. For the few years that I was conservator and consulting with her financial advisor, I was able to spend about 20 min each month and a little longer for tax time. The advisor assisted me on streamlining things so that I did not need a probate letter as executor. All funds were able to be distributed to beneficieries without oversight as everything moved cleanly.
It will be a good lesson for future financial knowledge if you inherit from mom
If you can get onto all her accounts you can set up auto pay for her bills to make things easier for you. It’s a lot of work up front to make things easier overall.
My father had Alzheimer’s and while I was POA he would not accept help. I did it all behind his back with my POA to protect him and his assets. He had no idea I had basically taken his entire financial life away from him. I am also the executor of his trust, successor trustee, and the beneficiary of the trust assets except for one house. The minute he passed my POA was over and my executor job began. It’s a ton of work, even without family squabbling in the mix. If your uncle is executor, understand this takes time, and the administration of the trust is an expense to be paid for from the trust assets, not out of his pocket. Depending on the way the trust was written he may also be allowed to be compensated for his work.
Having your name on certain assets of your mother (like home, accounts, etc.) can also make you both liable for financial issues that may happen in the future. If YOU should ever have a bankruptcy case, everything of your mother’s that has your name attached may be vulnerable too.
Since she already has a trust, perhaps your mother already has a lot of faith in that attorney and it would be a good place to start with any questions about a POA. Ideally, any charges should be eligible to be paid from your mother’s funds.
If you do find a resource to help understand POAs it would be helpful to share it here as I am sure a lot of us could benefit.