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I am the only one caring for my husband with dementia. I find it difficult getting him in the car just to go to appointments. It’s very frustrating and has missed some because of his behavior.

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I usually order a LYFT - get your debit card On file with them and order the car and then tell them " Get in the car " it doesnt give them The Option of saying " no "
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Daughterof1930 Feb 26, 2024
Of course they can still say no. They can also get belligerent or violent. No Lyft or Uber driver will deal with abusive behavior, nor should they
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If it is very difficult, almost dangerous for you to transport him you can arrange a Medical Transport. (this might even be covered by his Insurance)
If you live in an area that has Public Transportation often you can call in advance and arrange a pick up for a "disabled" person. In my area I think they want 24 hours notice.
There are also some Volunteer agencies that will provide transportation. the one in my area wants about a 48 hour notice. (maybe longer if possible that gives them time to find a Volunteer)
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Lyft and Uber isn't going to transport an elder with dementia and behavioral issues to appointments, nor should they be expected to! It's not safe for the driver OR your husband! Medical transport is your only option in such a situation. Moreover, he needs medication to calm him down so he's not so agitated in the first place. Speak to his doctor and address this agitation first and foremost.

Good luck to you.
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We used medical transport for my mother’s medical appointments during her nursing home years. They were kind and compassionate. We made a reservation a week or so ahead and all was handled without issue
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Can you check to see if some of his doctors do ZOOM apointments? If he needs bloodwork, ask the doctor if there is local coverage for visiting nurses. Also check with our town or county social services to see if they have a transportation van. However behavior issues also may need medical intervention
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What kind of medical appointments? Do you have a family member or neighbor with a laptop so they can help set up a Zoom appointment? I've done those with my Mom and this is a good option.
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GoGoGrandparent
(UBR for senior and disabled citizens)

GoGoGrandparent also provides grocery delivery, Rx delivery, meal delivery, etc.....

See information online
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I think at this point I would start dropping unnecessary Drs. I found that with Specialists, once Mom was stable with her meds, her primary could take over. Only using the Specialist if needed. Or, if they had her coming every 6 months, once stable I asked for once a year. There are labs that will come to the home. The one I use will allow me to get a pee jar ahead so I can bring it with me.

I am with Lea about asking the Dr. for something to calm him.

I would not worry if he gets to an appt or not unless he needs refills on meds. I would also have his med list reviewed. I found Mom was still on meds she didn't need. One was for rapid heart rate caused by Graves disease. Once on medication for that, no need for the rapid heart rate meds. Cholesterol meds cause liver problems and cognitive problems.

If this is getting too much for you an Elder Lawyer can split your assets. DHs split paying for his care in a facility and when almost gone you apply for Medicaid. Once on Medicaid, you remain in the home, have a car and enough of your monthly income to livebon. I am just giving the basics, an Elder Lawyer can give u more info.
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Are you wanting a driver, while you yourself are accompanying him?
I would think that would be easy to find on Nextdoor or other sites.
You would have to be with him and responsible for him, and I would think this might get costly because you would likely need this driver to wait for you.
I would think Uber and Lyft would serve as well.
At some point online appts. with zoom might be the way to go. An awful lot of appointments don't really require your being there in person.
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I used LYFT with my Father for appointments- and didn’t give him the option of saying “ No “
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If it is necessary there are Medical Transport that will work.
Many communities have Public transportation for people with disabilities and or seniors. (many will need advance notice as they will pick up at the door rather than at a bus stop)
Some communities have Senior volunteer services that will transport seniors to Dr appointments, again they have to arrange the volunteer so they need advance notice as well.
And at some point you realize that many of the Dr appointments are meaningless and it is just time to discontinue them.
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