My father has been vulnerable to online dating scams and sending money to people he meets as he tries to find a partner online. I have been engaged with his therapist, and our pastors, for a long time trying to get him the help he needs. Ultimately he needs to want to make the choice on his own, but has not. I hope that if I can point him to some easy-to-watch videos or resources online that it may start to sink in easier. He's lonely and it's easy, which is why he keeps falling victim to online predators.
You act like he is perfectly normal, he isn't. Dementia damages the brain. Even in the early stages, a person suffering from a Dementia cannot make decisions concerning their welfare. Watching a video will not help because Dad probably has short-term memory loss.
So, where this leaves us is trying to find a way to show him someone else who can also tell him the stove is hot and to stay away from it as he doesn't seem to want to hear it from us.
They have a free fraud watch network, which even includes a helpline. https://www.aarp.org/money/scams-fraud/about-fraud-watch-network/?intcmp=AE-SCM-FRD-ABT
They also have interesting podcasts about actual cases and up to date information about the latest frauds and scams.
If your dad uses the internet and his email is entered on a lot of sites, that is a major source of fraud attempts. Almost very day I get emails not blocked by my spam filter that pretend to be from places such as Paypal and Amazon or other organizations that I've used. sometimes they are from banks where I don't have accounts, and those are easy to spot. You might want to urge him to change his email address and only give it out very selectively to a few trusted people and sites.
Use the parental control on the computer to limit his access to sites.
At some point the computer might have to "break down" or get a "virus" and have to be removed.
One other comment...you say he lives on his own. That should probably change unless he has a caregiver with him. It is to easy for someone with dementia to wander off or to leave the stove on, the water running or just letting people into the house.
My question for this post was worded very carefully, and specifically. I've been down this road for quite some time I'm looking to add to my available tooling. I've been surprised at the lack of ease of finding the resources that I'm looking for - which is why I've come here to ask for help finding them.
You say in your profile that dad has Alzheimer's/dementia but in your comment after my post you say that there is no dementia diagnosis.
That changes much of my answer to...
Since he is cognizant there really is not much you can do about what he does.
If you read my original question(s) / post, It's not about trying to control what he does. It's about trying to find resources to point him to so that he may try to self correct. Thanks again.
Some years ago I learned that our State police force created a task force addressing scams, but I don't know w/o research if other states have done this as well.
"he's really lonely. It's easier to meet "people" online, even though it's not really real. This instant gratification bump is what keeps him coming back."
What did your father do for a living when he was working? Are there any local clubs, groups, etc. that might focus on this? Woodworking, for example, or fishing (even just talking), or some other interest? Finding a group with similar interests could also create instant gratification.
I felt that some years ago when I jointed a literature group. That sense of bonding really is a stimulant.
Also, you probably want to edit your profile to indicate that your father does NOT have dementia as you mention further down this thread.
If your father has dementia, you will need to be doing this anyway at some future point in time, so why not start it sooner rather than wait for a bigger crisis? If you are his FPoA maybe open up a joint savings account and put the bulk of his money in that while leaving only a minimum in his checking. This way he can't easily access it and neither can scammers. Or, give him a pre-paid debit or cc. Change the passwords to his other assets so that he can't access them or give them out. Maybe consider something like LifeLock to alert you to any ID theft. I'm so sorry because I know how stressful this can be. My in-laws "fell apart" when my husband and I were working full-time in our business and trying to raise 3 young sons. They made no plans for their care whatsoever, saved no money, thought we'd be their "solution". If necessary, don't hesitate to consider a Geriatric Care manager either. Well worth the money (that should come out of your father's assets).
I recently had an issue myself with scammers and spammers. Found out there's such a thing as a Burner Phone app. This gives you the ability of having "back-up" phone numbers that you can "discard" to keep the phishers and abusers away. More work for you but an interesting option. Google has an option for this too, but IMHO they already have too much control and access into our lives. I wish you much success in getting things under control!
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