Am I wrong? I don’t want to do that. Barely got my kids raised, and trying to help them navigate their difficult 20s, have my first 9-month old grandson that I want to spoil. My parents moved in with me about six years ago, have no assets and are declining health-wise. I worry constantly about what to do. It’s all on ky shoulders apparently.
Please don't let that happen. Your children and now grandchild deserve so much better than that don't you think?
Not sure why you think that it's all on your shoulders when in reality it is all on your parents shoulders. They were the ones who didn't plan for their future and so now they should have to live with that choice, not you.
If that means they apply for Medicaid and move into low income senior housing then so be it.
And I sure hope and pray that you're not financially supporting them in any way as you will need your monies for your own future and retirement.
I think you've already set yourself up for their care when you let them move in with you, as once they're there it will be very hard to get them out of your house as many can attest to here on this forum.
Hopefully you are at least their DPOA as eventually that will come in handy to get them placed if need be.
Don’t be another casualty.
Call your local Agency of Aging , have them assess your parents needs and see if they can help get help into the home to give you some relief until your parents are bad off enough physically to qualify to get into LTC on Medicaid .
Good for you taking your life back. I'm proud of you and glad that you found help and support here to get done what you needed to do.
You say they "have no assets and are declining health-wise".
Do they each currently operate independently? Can they do their ADLs? This will make a difference in where they can realistically move to -- if they don't have enough funds to pay for in-home help. Section 8 housing may be an option, but maybe not if your parents have health issues and cognitive/memory problems.
Medicaid (in most states) only covers LTC, which is a medical assessment made by a doctor (meaning the person is most likely bed-bound or profoundly ill needing a lot of long-term medical care).
This doesn't sound like your parents, yet. So before talking to your parents about moving out, I would contact your local Area Agency on Aging for info and resources.
The other option is to have them pay for in-home help while they're living with you to take some of the burden off your shoulders. You can also contact social services for your county to see if they qualify for any county-provided services, like light housekeeping, light meal prep, hygiene, transportation, etc.
I wish you success in getting your life back!
You say your parents have no assets. I can't even get my mind around how so many people who are seniors today managed to live so long without actually becoming adults. Grown-ups have good credit. They own real estate. They have insurance policies. They plan for their own retirements.
My apologies, I got off track here. Your parents choices are going to be limited.
They probably can't afford an assisted living facility. They can afford an independent senior living community though. The rent is based on income. Medicare and Medicaid will pay for some weekly homecare hours for them too.
If they get to the point where homecare is no longer an option for them, they will have to go into LTC. Yes, it will have to be a state, Medicaid-friendly facility but it is what it is. Their choices are limited by their lack of assets and low income. You can still help them if they're placed.
So many times families think that putting someone in a "home" means that there's nothing more they can do for them. That's not true.
You can be their advocate. You can still physically take care of them. You can bring in meals, and visitors, and all kinds of things that can make life in a cheap care facility (if such a thing exists) decent and even pleasant for them.
Please look into placement or senior housing for your parents.
There will be a wait list.
Work with your local Senior Service Agency. They have Social Workers that can help.
If there needs to be an application for Medicaid down the road start the process sooner rather than later.
Help them live as independently as possible but do not enable them.
Each of the "conditions" you list
"Age related decline" (I want to someone to explain that to me..we all have some sort of "age related decline")
Anxiety (is that yours or theirs?)
Broken hip, are they still recovering or is this a past injury? If current are they still in rehab?
Hearing loss. We all have some hearing loss but it does not prevent someone from living their life independently.
Heart disease. Is this managed by medication?
Incontinence. Again it happens but does not prevent someone from living independently.
Mobility issues. As long as they are safe this should not prevent independent living.
And a few points...YOU do not spend your assets providing housing, food or other things for them or you will be in the same boat expecting your children to care for you when you age. Do you want to put them in the same position you are currently in? My guess is no!
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