The clinic where my mother is being seen's doctor left. They reassigned my mother to a new doctor (osteopath) whom I am not happy with. She prescribes my mother medications without consulting with me as the health care proxy. Recently, she put my mother on Remeron without even telling me. I found out by reading the chart after another sibling had a virtual appointment with the osteopath. Shouldn't I be required to sign something as a HCP when putting my mother on an off-label, black box warning medication? When my mother was previously in rehab for physical therapy, they requested my consent with such medications.
Is brother the one taking her to appointments?
Remeron is frequently used for seniors. It is, among other things, an appetite stimulant. My mom took it for many years. It helped her mood and quelled her anxiety.
I really don't have time to go through and post links to your questions in the past but this issue with sister is not new here on AC.
I think there is ongoing dissention between yourself and a Sister who holds GENERAL POA.
Often the person holding general POA takes precedence in a situation.
I do believe we have suggested before that you and sister attend an elder care attorney to work out who makes what decisions, because you currently have too many Chefs spoiling the stew.
Sure do wish you the best ongoing, D.
Sorry if that sounds harsh, but you led with “You’re fired.”
I’d ask:
1) Is the doctor’s office convenient?
2) Does mom like and trust the new doctor?
3) Is the doctor prescribing the right meds after all or willing to adjust based on your concerns?
If no, find a new doctor.
If yes, solve the problem at hand.
Ask mom to hold off with Remeron because you’re concerned about potential side effects. Use doctor’s office online portal to follow visits and explain your concerns about Remeron and ask about alternatives.
I would not "fire" this doctor, he did nothing wrong. Just call the office and ask that you be notified of any change in Moms medication.
So this OP has a choice. GO TO COURT with an elder law attorney and take each issue to court OR get along with the Financial POA. Often in court the general financial POA trumps the health care proxy in decision making by a ruling of the judge.
This issue has been going on for some time for our op. Another member says they looked up some twenty postings about these issues and the disagreements and dysfuntion between our OP and another family member regarding care.
I doubt very much that the Forum can do much for our OP here regarding this. Our OP needs an attorney rather than the advise of a Forum full of people. I can't see how, not knowing what is going on in this apparent dysfunction, anything can be contributed by us that doesn't simply add to the confusion.
"FDA warning: Suicide risk
This drug has a black box warning. This is the most serious warning from the Food and Drug Administration (FDA). A black box warning alerts doctors and patients about drug effects that may be dangerous.
Mirtazapine may cause an increase in suicidal thoughts or actions. This risk is higher in children, teenagers, and young adults. It’s also higher within the first few months of treatment and during dosage changes. You and your family members, caregivers, and doctor should watch for any new or sudden changes in your mood, behaviors, thoughts, or feelings. Call your doctor right away if you notice any of these changes."
Your sibling(s) take your mom to the clinic; do you communicate with them about what is prescribed or talked about?
Frankly, if you and your siblings can't cooperate, and if you are far away from each other and can't communicate to the benefit of your mom, then perhaps you should give up the HCP.
Your mother or whoever is speaking on her behalf should certainly be able to request a different doctor or change medical PCP or other caregivers. "Patient rights" should always be honored; for best practice and full understanding of the particular document (s) your mother has , please do yourself a favor and confer with an attorney, preferably an Elder Law Attorney.
Power of Attorney DOES NOT give you special authority to make people jump through hoops and chase you down to get permission to treat your mom.
You need to decide what level of involvement you really want from what 500 miles away.
You are trying to make this as hard as possible for everyone involved. Your brother has been with mom for 10 years, he deals with her face to face daily, it would serve mom well if you let go of the power trip. Sorry, sounds harsh but, I would blow a fuse if you were my interfering, absent sibling making things as hard as possible for everyone involved.
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