96 year old aunt is in assisted living. I visited two days ago and found a bruise on her forehead, legs...every piece of clothing, bedding was urine soaked as she hasn't been diapered properly. She is itching and miserable. They charge her $75 a month on top of everything else to do two loads of laundry. HAd to pay $30 to do emergency load ...I found a urine soaked diaper in her hamper, it had to weigh 3 lbs. she has plenty of diapers. I don't know what to do. She fights her caregivers on everything from meds to showers....she is almost out of money...about 4 more months worth. Won't allow her to apply for medicaid so she can enter nursing home until she is down to $2000....then it is a 6 month wait to GET on Medicaid...where does she go for that 6 months??? I am at my wits end.....
Now what is your level of tolerance can you stand up to being bullied? The hospital may be sweetly co operative or fight you every step of the way. Can you stand your ground and look them in the eye and quietly but firmly say NO. Do you have a husband or adult child to assist. start off alone but call for re enforcements if needed. probably the best time to start this would be Sunday morning when all the heavy weights at the hospital are enjoying Sunday brunch and nothing will get done till Monday morning. You can sign permission for treatment but be very careful not to take financial responsibility. read the fine print even when they are standing there with a pen and directing you to sign where the X is.
As someone suggested buy aunty some new clothes for the N/H but don't provide them till she is actually admitted. Actually go to a thrift store because the N/h will loose them
I am sorry Gayle this is going to be very rough on you standing up to a whole brigade of white coats so pull up your big girl panties and go into battle. I really hate that expression it sounds so condescending. but as long as you behave reasonably there is nothing they can do to you. While I am not advocating using these methods I have seen them used by others and they did work. We are all behind you ready to hand you the ammunition
And I agree with an above suggestion about getting her admitted to a hospital so she can be discharged to a NH. It's not difficult to get an elderly person admitted to the hospital. Take her to an emergency room. I don't know her ailments but use of her ailments to get her to an ER. Then you can talk to the RN or the Dr. about getting her admitted. If your aunt is confused and living in an unsanitary environment tell the RN or the Dr. that. I wanted my mom admitted to the hospital because she refused to get out of bed. I took the RN aside and explained my situation and they admitted my mom. It can be done. Then you can start working on the NH.
I don't remember if you said you had POA. If not, can you get POA? A lot of people say you have to see an elder care attorney to get POA. I got POA over my dad by downloading the paperwork from legalzoom.com. Had it notarized and we signed it and I never had a problem with it. Once you have POA get to the Medicaid office and begin that process. It's not always as daunting as some might thing. When I applied for Medicaid for my dad, who was in a NH, it was a fairly simple process. It took 3 months to get him approved and he had died by then but I was told by our Medicaid caseworker that it's rare for someone to be denied "vendor Medicaid" which is what NH Medicaid is called here in MO.
I stress out easily. I get my britches in a knot and freak out over everything. But even I was able to get my dad to the ER, to the NH, and get him Medicaid. And if I can do it anyone can. You can start the Medicaid process as soon as you have a NH for your aunt to go to. And my one suggestion would be to keep in touch with your Medicaid caseworker. I practically befriended the gal who took my dad's application and called her weekly. It didn't get the stupid thing done quicker but I don't think I was just a case number to her either. And when I went to the Medicaid office I had all this paperwork with me. The NH had given me a booklet telling me what I'd need to apply and most of it was bogus. I was terrified because I didn't have my dad's birth certificate but they didn't even ask about it. I knew his social but didn't have his social security card, again no problem. It was a lot less of a mess than I thought it was going to be.
Good luck!
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