Does anyone attend caregiver support groups and do they help?

Sounds to me like you owe her nothing. Counsel and a support group would be good for you but the best thing would be to get her out of your house and don't look back.

Why wait for the crisis? Tell the social worker what the risks are and apply pressure for them to act preventively - they won't want to be responsible for any harm coming to your mother that you have previously, in writing, warned them about. I'm sorry your sisters have let you down. Were you close to any of them before?

My situation is much different then yours as far as what I am dealing with with my parents.. However, I completely understand the pain of having your family forsake you and leave you all alone in your time of need. I always thought that my family would be there for me in hard times and this situation I am dealing with now has unfortunately taught me that it isn't so. I also feel extremely alone in the world having learned this awful truth.

I have started to go to a caregiver support group and it is helpful but only meets once a month. Coming here helps.. and I am also thinking of getting some counseling. My biggest issue even aside from my parents is this realization that I am truly alone in the world. If family doesn't help me through my current ordeal with my parents.. then will they be with me through anything else?

My whole view of the world has completely shifted over this caregiving situation.... and I need to come to terms with that....somehow.

Im sorry but these stories just p*ss me off. Not at the writer but the four crap sisters and the crap mom. Give them all notice that if nobody is going to step up to the plate then she goes to the state. Put her out now if it's really that bad.

Er, okay.

I would like to thank this family for showing all of us, and especially me, what can happen to a family when people don't take responsibility, or don't have the ability to do it, for planning their old age. Could be for any reason, blameworthy or otherwise, but the moral is that if you drop all responsibility for your welfare on your kids it can tear them up and tear them apart. Neither of you is explicitly blaming your mother for this conflict, but I do. Not that it matters whether she's to blame or not - she still needs looking after somehow, and you do still all care very much what becomes of her or you wouldn't be going through this.

Golflady, you're right, she knows nothing. But how could she? CVSM, you're right, you shouldn't take the blame for decisions you didn't control - but you have no idea, you couldn't have any idea, of the level of anger and panic your sister is feeling or the sheer 24/7 devastation her life is suffering right now. I know the blame feels unfair to you, but forgive it. The unfairness of what she's going through is enough to make anyone want to spread it around.

Please start again. If you were close before, then please start again.

If there is a support group near you that you like the sound of, go and see if it helps. The worst that can happen is that it doesn't.

What have you got in the way of family, and why have they headed for the hills? Friends, it's more likely that they just don't understand what you're going through - but they might if you can find a way to tell them what you need from them.

Don't blame yourself for feeling rage - this forum is great for venting, by the way.

the day I told my mother she has to move 1 of my sisters had enough nerve to tell me I couldn't do that ,that mom was my RESPONSIBILITY now. Needless to say mine and that sisters relationship will never be the same again. shes basically dead to me as far as Im concerned.

I don't have time to add another "meeting" or group to my schedule. I am busy from morning until I fall asleep (and until he has to get up and go to the bathroom). No way could I attend a group of any kind, even church I am SO thankful for this website. As he watches TV, I can sit and talk to the people on here about my issues. So far, they have always been right on. I am in the beginning of the process of His Alzheimer disease. I am way to busy to go anywhere

Oh, one more thing. They have no idea what it costs for the HOME. I am saving them money by caring for my partner. Do you think I will ever hear a thank you? Not!

Windyridge, I am one of the 4 crap sisters. What she doesn't say here is that her and her husband told my mom and stepdad before he died, that she was going to live with them. They had a separate living area that wasn't even being used, with it's own entrance, upstairs at their house. It was no financial burden either for them. This sister talking up there ^ was very close to our mom (and stepdad). She called my mom every single morning very early to talk because she was lonely in Texas. She wasn't a narcissist then I guess? Or why would you call her every single morning to shoot the breeze. One sister lives with her daughter and has no home. Another sister rents a room in a trailer, one has 2 adult children and 2 grandchildren living with her and they move alot !! Me? I live in a 2 bedroom trailer with 3 people and 3 pets. It was never discussed after they told my mom she was going to live with them. Nobody knew it would be that bad OR it would have been discussed. Once our mom was 1300 miles away, she had no idea how much my sister and husband hated her being there. What were we supposed to do? Say MOM they hate you being there, lets move you back to michigan. Nevermind her income is so low she will struggle really bad. My mom has been through alot since Feb. 2014. Lost her husband, was kind of forced this past christmas to go visit 2 sisters in tennessee because the one she lived with didn't want her around when they came to Michigan for Christmas. Our mom was having alot of trouble breathing for months before December. She went to the Dr. and it didn't improve. I told this sister ^^ in Texas that she isn't making it up, she really is having trouble breathing, she kept saying our mom was only doing it for attention...The day our mom landed in Tennessee, she was so out of breath one sister had to push her to their car in a wheelchair and 3 days after christmas our mom almost died from a heart condition. She just spent 2 months away from the one she lives with because the cardiologist wouldn't let her travel back home to Texas. She had a pacemaker inserted. I'm gonna speak my mind here because when I saw my sister say I'm dead to her, here, my whole body was shaking. I was the ONLY sister that talked to her and at least tried to help. I offered suggestions, then I got accused of trying to control the situation from 1300 miles away......My sister states on this website a few times that I told her she was responsible for our mother. That is BS. What I actually said was "you are responsible" to take her back to the Dr. because she is having trouble breathing, cant go up a flight of stairs without getting short of breath. She's there, she has no car, but my sister told ME she wasn't taking my mom back to the Dr. unless she's dieing....I was up half the night over all of this and after speaking up here, I won't lose anymore sleep over this because I know I did nothing wrong. That last year our stepdad was alive, My husband and I had one car. We both work. We helped my mom and stepdad move 6 mos before he died, I was out there several times totaling 2 weeks during his last few months and a couple of other times. I got accused here of seeing them 2 times that whole last year. I never defend myself like I should, and now I will. Also, our mother did drink. She has not had one drink since August 2014 and did it alone without even saying much. I'm d*mn proud of her !!!!!