What do you do when the attorney has power-of-attorney and accountant has trusteeship?
I have a situation where my mother is 96 and in good health, living in an independent care facility. She is still able to make decisions for herself, for the most part. Luckily, she is well off financially. I have one other sibling, a sister, who is not reliable. She is married to a very devious person who is just waiting for my mother to die so he can collect 1/2 of her inheritance, along with my sister. This has been a longstanding problem for the past 30 years. Knowing this, after my father died, my mother made her own attorney POA. Her accountant is her trustee. I am her medical proxy. Has anyone had a situation like this? What happens when my mother becomes incapacitated or can't make decisions for herself? Am I going to be forced to chase down her attorney or accountant to get anything done? That's what I am fearing. Also, I do not live close by (about 2 hours away), but my sister is a 30 minute drive away from my mother. If I wanted my mother to be moved to an assisted living facility near me so I could check in on her if she were very ill, would I need to go through the attorney because he is POA? I am told most POAs are children, but, in this case, my sister isn't trustworthy and I think my mother is afraid she will open a can of worms with my sister if she appoints me as sole POA. Any advice, or should I consult an elder care attorney near me?
I would talk to the lawyer and accountant, do my homework about power of attorney duties, and talk to your mother. Let her know that if you are left off the power of attorney forms, your only option, should things go badly for her, would be to seek guardianship. That is time consumming and costly according to what I have read.
I understand your mom means well. And I am touched that she worries about her other daughter's feelings. My brother has power of attorney for my mother and I have been left off. But there is absolutely no reason for this and yes, I am hurt. But my situation is totally different from yours. I do know that without pwoer of attorney, I would have to seek guardianship for my mother should my brother die or not be able to fulfill his duties. And that is another question. Who is alternate on the power of attorney forms?
As suzmarie said, talk to the lawyer and accountant and then talk to your mom. Good luck
Establish a good relationship with both of them.
To move your mom closer to you ask the poa what you would need to do now. If you find these things out now you won't have to waste valuable time later.
There's always one in the family that has greed on their minds, like your sister and mine. Sorry to hear about this.