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I know the posts are crap, but as I am letting go of my husband and awaiting a hospice evaluation, just reading it gives me more anxiety. it is cruel.i can alleviate my pet’s end of life pain but not a human being?

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Janice, (((hugs))).

Ignore those idiotic posts; you can alleviate your husband's pain and anxiety with the meds Hospice prescribed.

If they don't seem to be working as needed, call the hospice nurse. And if your hospice isn't responding, fire them and get a different one.
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Reply to BarbBrooklyn
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You will get your true answers from the professional rather than anecdotal garbage from individual opinion. I hope your husband experiences comfort instead of pain
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Reply to MACinCT
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If it makes you feel any relief, the cruelty of that poster is the point of their posts.

I have experienced hospice with family members, and the people who work with hospice are angels on earth— from massage therapists to chaplains to social workers to the doctors and nurses. They are amazing people who have felt called to this vocation.

Death is a natural part of life: we are all born to die. No one can escape death.

Hospice is so supportive of the family also— it’s an amazing service to the dying.
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AlvaDeer Oct 6, 2024
I certainly agree that our latest poster has an agenda we can't know for reasons we cannot imagine unless he/she tells us what they are.
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Hospice is a blessing when you are suffering.
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Reply to Nan333
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Avoid those hospice bashing posts, just as you'd avoid the news channels that dwell on topics about fear mongering that keep you up all night. You have to focus on things you know to be true and good and uplifting, that reinforce your own beliefs. Not trolls or newspapers who use the motto "if it bleeds it leads". The internet is rife with nonsense and idiocy. I used hospice twice for both of my parents whose DISEASES were killing them. Hospice prevented them from suffering in pain to their end, that's all. Morphine and Ativan didn't kill them, trust me on that. I MYSELF have used morphine and Xanax for stage 4 cancer pain, in larger doses than hospice prescribes, and I'm still here, typing to you on my tablet, in remission.

Take what you like and what's helpful to you from A.C., and ditch the rest. Fear mongering posts that mention not giving morphine and Ativan to BABIES say it all, don't you think? What do babies have to do with diseased elders at end of life?

I'm sorry for your situation, and wish you good luck and Godspeed with your dear husband.
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Southernwaver Oct 6, 2024
Right lol. THEY WONT giVE THESE druGS TO babIES. 🤪🤪🤪
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I had a terrible experience with hospice 25 years ago when my father was dying. Phone calls were not answered, nurses not available, etc. I told my children to NEVER put me in hospice.

However, when my husband was dying in the hospital, the palliative care physician suggested that he be transferred to an inpatient hospice facility. My sons and I finally agreed. The hospice facility was beautiful, more like a high-end hotel. I was able to just be his wife and not his caregiver. They took outstanding care of my husband and he died peacefully in this beautiful facility. I have changed my mind about hospice. Not all hospice situations are created equally.
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lealonnie1 Oct 6, 2024
I fired the first hospice nurse I had for dad. It's just that simple.
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Hospice was the reason my dad was able to die in his home without pain or suffering. They provided all needed supplies and guidance, including the meds that ensured his comfort. Nothing cruel happened other than the ravages of congestive heart failure and its inevitable march to the end. I remain grateful for the help of hospice
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Thank you all. It’s truly a wonderful help to know there is so much kindness in the world.❤️
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Anxietynacy Oct 6, 2024
Janice, I'm so glad you feel that way, I was worried with all the issues from other posters.

Don't forget to take care of you too!
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Janice, I am going to tell you how deeply sorry I am that you had to deal with the BS of the other posters negative feelings for hospice.

You certainly did not need to read any of that.

My deepest condolences on what you are going through.

And just a warning to anyone, if anyone post anything bad about hospice on Janice thread. It will not go over well , with us or administration!!

Janice please ignore anything that you don't like from others.

We are here for you, to support you.🙏😥
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Reply to Anxietynacy
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I can honestly say that I was able to take better care of my Husband because of Hospice.
I got an awesome Nurse that came each week. She would check on him and order any medical supplies, medications, equipment that we needed.
I got a CNA that came 2 times a week, as he declined there were 2 CNA's. they would give him a shower and the CNA would order any personal items that were needed. (Briefs, absorbent pads, creams, ointments, gloves, wipes and these were delivered to our door just like the items the nurse ordered.)
A Social Worker was assigned, a Chaplain as well.
I asked on a few occasions for a Volunteer to come sit with him while I had to go out and the regular caregiver was not available.
I got encouragement, education and emotional support.
I am going to also add that my Husband was on Hospice for almost 3 years. So Hospice did not "kill" him. As I have said to others that have posted about this, if killing were the goal of Hospice they did a pretty poor job of it in our case.


Not everyone has the same experience, I know that. I feel sad for those that did not have a good experience. But their loved one was going to die or else they would not have been eligible for Hospice to begin with. There is a level of acceptance that comes with facing the death of a loved one. There may be more anger and denial in the "Hospice bashing" than anything.

I have said to those that have not had good experiences they can elect to go off Hospice, they can call and talk to a Team Manager, they can change Hospice companies. It is like any other medical service you would not stay with a Doctor if you were not being treated properly would you?

I agree with you about ending our pets life but we can not do the same for our family. In some places that can be done but the restrictions are such that it can make it almost impossible.
In some cases if a person is unable to take the medication themselves a loved one can not give it to them to take. This leaves anyone with physical limitations like ALS unable to end their life when they want. If a person is not cognizant they can not be given the medication. This leaves out anyone with dementia even if they have previously indicated that they would want to end their life.
Kinda of a catch 22 in many respects. We need better laws that allow assisted suicide or what might be better called a compassionate death assistance
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ElizabethAR37 Oct 6, 2024
Absolutely!!! There's Switzerland, of course, but it's awfully pricey.
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