Hiya all. I was caring for my Nan for years going in to her house helping her out and so on. This was never an issue for me and I use to help her and she would give me some money to help me out as I had to travel via train each day and it was a long distance. My Nan use to also ask me to get money from the ATM for her because she couldn't always walk far. But now I'm being accused of stealing the money she has asked me to take out her bank. And the police have cctv of me taking the money out and I've told them I took the money out as I was asked to. The person who is accusing me has made it so my Nan believes I've stolen the money. And my Nan is now saying she never give anyone money including people that have said to her look u give me such ammout. But because of this I'm scared. I don't want to get charged with something I didn't do my Nan is in her 70s and has had about 4 strokes. And I think she is starting to get forgetful but I also think she is being pushed in to this. Any advice would be great thanks.
Elder abuse is a terrible thing. Stealing from seniors with dementia is the lowest of the low.
The district attorney is going to be able to cctv every time you withdrew money -- which they'll know because of the withdrawal dates on her statements. They'll look at how you are supporting yourself and how you afforded your lifestyle on what you had. They'll want to know, if this was pay for services, whether you evaded taxes by not claiming the money as income.
They'll look at gram and see how she spent the cash you withdrew at her request. They'll want to know how she got around to spend it.
Depending on how much money is involved and the results of their investigation, the DA may or may not prosecute. If you are arrested, ask for an attorney before you answer any questions.
Anyway, if you are able I would put up a camera system. Put one in her room if you can and though out the house. I'm about to do that because my mom hides things like her purse, the mail and her meds and accuses me of taking them. So for proofs sake I'm having cameras installed this week.
As for the original poster, if you can talk to you Nan. Calmly and ask her if that's what she really believes and explain to her that you would never do that. The burden of proof is on the state however they do have you on camera. I think I would talk to an attorney. but that's just me. I like to be a step ahead. It sucks being accused of stuff...I know from experience. Good luck to you.
Do you have a good recollection of what you withdrew the funds for? If it was groceries, and if you still have slips, those are refutation of your aunt's accusations.
If it was for train fare, do you still have ticket stubs?
If you know who Nan's treating physicians are/were, and which if any of them might have done a competence exam, create a list of those with your other "defense" material file. Get all the documentation you can, even though it's after the fact.
If you keep a diary, start a separate one. Just in case.