I'm a widow with a 19 yr disabled son. When i found this job i was practically in the street..almost evicted.
This job pays very well..I sleep at this house 4 or 5 days a week $180 a day. It's him and his wife..he is a retired Dr. Millionaire. There house is big and I have my own room. His man is 94..he is very strong for his age ..takes vitamins and takes good care of himself. No dementia or any other Illness..only diabetes 2. I hardly do much for him ..I check his sugar..I give him insulin shots..I give him his med and drive him to appointments or shopping..he takes a shower alone. He is also writing his 5th book and im helping. So he knows my situation and he said he wanted to take care of me and give me whatever i want....he tries and grabs me by my waist..tries and rubs on my chest...and he wants me to massage him in private places. I just take care of him..they have a lady that cleans 2xs a week...I lock my room at night..now I'm scared to lose my job because he is furious i keep telling NO NO NO. Pls i feel terrinle..I'm making real good money but i cannot take this anymore. I'm 48 and i feel he should respect me and understand respect his wife...if i tell her i will lose my job for sure. He has afford me a lot of money BUT I CANNOT!!! I can't do that. :( my friend says I should take the money..but I cant..please help me what can I do?
I have a feeling his wife already knows about his proclivities; she can't have lived with him for years and be totally naive.
I suspect he's been through a series of women he attempted to seduce. What reason did he give for hiring you after (presumably) the last one left?
What I would think about is a way to video his actions secretly just for protection. You never know what this kind of predator will do once you give notice.
In my dating years, I didn't know how to turn down undesirable "suitors" in a less-than-awkward way. Many years later, I learned the phrase, "I just don't feel that way about you." You might give it a try. You could say something like, "Thank you, but no thank you. I just don't feel that way about you."
All the best to you.
I suppose his reputation in the community is important to him, as a retired physician and the author of five books. Depending on your moral compass, you might threaten him with criminal charges and demand a good reference and a lump sum in return for your silence, enough to tide you over until you find a new job. But that would be wrong, of course.
You would be asked by the police if these kinds of incidents have happened before (yes), what you've done about them, what you've told this man (i.e., did you say NO?). It could be construed that you were fully aware of his proclivities and as yet have done nothing about it.
Pip ruby believe me I'm not over reacting..it's very uncomfortable. ..and every time I'm putting on his condom catheter he has his penis very hard and erected..then to find out he has one of those erection pumps.
You might contact an abused women's shelter, social services, your local agency on aging, and/or the police and ask if you have any recourse regarding the sexual abuse/harassment you are experiencing. It he does have all his marbles it may curb his behavior if he knows you will approach or have approached professionals. Abusers rely on secrecy to keep the abuse going.
I do understand that with having a disabled child is an extra burden and the good pay helps you. (((((hugs))))) and let us know how this pans out.
I wouldn't contact the police since this gentleman is a prominent physician [not that should make any difference] but in some circle it would become a "he said - she said" situation. You don't want to damage your reputation if you find some people will believe him over you, even though it is 100% his fault.
You can talk to the wife, she probably knows and looks the other way. Be ready to leave if you decide to engage the wife.
He has probably been lecherous all his life, but at this stage he is not responsible for his actions......you are for yours. If the money and convenience is sufficient to put up with an occasional grope, you would not be the first person to do so. Do lock your doors at night. He may be highly obnoxious, but at his age I cannot imagine he is much of a threat....I assume you could fend him off if you had to.
Good luck,.