Can somebody recommend some good titles on both subjects? There are so many books and so little time to read them all. Which have been most helpful to you all. Also: What kind of personality disorders are "daughters of narcissistic mothers" prone to? :) :( !
I learned to disengage. It was not easy at first but over time and understanding, it finally clicked. Now mom is 82, alone and her "golden boy", who is also part of the problem, realize they may actually need me. Mom had a heart issue just before Christmas, my brother was able to spend a few days with her. She is fine, but it is very obvious she will need me if she is sick for an extended time. I am prepared and won't be manipulated. I can do this because I have educated myself about HER problem. Otherwise she and my brother would eat me alive. This is the dynamic of our family, sad but true. I have to know this or they would literally kill me with the stress.
If you have a Kindle or e-reader, look at the self help book section. There are many choices. And the Narcissistic Family that FairyDust recommends is a good one too.
Take care and I hope you find some peace in the coming new year.
Karyl McBride looks good. I have just ordered it, Thanks for the thumbs up Madge
Also "Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder" Paul T. Mason (Author), Randi Kreger (Author) which has a workbook as well,. My mother has BPD and it narcisssistic. At this point I am considering NC (no contact) as the last session with her has affected my health negatively and I cannot afford it. I have been fighting to get my health back, for the last three years.
I have found there are a number of good sites on the internet -DONM is a favourite.
If you haven't read this book, it was worth the read for me. it made me realize how I was never going to make things better and to just move on. Hope it helps you.
Search on this site posts about narcissism. I am sure you will be reading for a while. I have read many, many posts from many people about their problems with a parent who exhibits selfish behaviors. The one thing to remember is that selfishness can be due to dementia or alzheimers. If you mother is not suffering with these conditions and this has been a life long problem, then she probably has a problem with selfishness or narcissism.
People who do not have a narcissistic parent can not begin to understand the damage these parents do to their children. Whether or not your mother is narcissistic would require a doctor's opinion, however, parents can do alot of damage even with varying degrees of this type personality.
It has taken me about two years to come to grips with my mother and her manipulating. She is a healthy 82 years old with no dementia or any other problem other than complete and total selfishness.
Good luck to you and keeping reading.
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