My mother put my brother on her deed as a" joint tenant" in 2004- only as a way to avoid probate for her small property upon her death. He was supposed to sell it and divide things up between the 3 of us kids whenever he passed away. Her property is a little park model mobile home and includes the land, the small lot under it. Her fear was that her entire estate would be eaten up in probate and there would be nothing left to leave us. 2 years ago Mom fell and fractured her back in 3 places. I took her in with me in my senior apartment and cared for her for a year and a half, 24/7. I am on disability and have very little income, and Mom and I together have very little. She was getting very depressed and missed her friends ... and I decided It would be the best thing for her to go back home, and age in place. She talked to my brother about signing off as joint tenant and putting me on in his stead and he was agreeable to that as was my sister. Because I was a home health nurse for many years - even with my health issues- I have been able to give my mother excellent care.
Well, now it has been 2 years and my brother has not signed off. My sister lives across the country and has a lot of problems herself. My brother lives 70 miles away - 1 hr drive we have only seen him once. What should I do, I am afraid of becoming homeless if Mom passes.
The thing is, my brother has a drinking problem...he has a small business and can well afford his binges, but he is very difficult to deal with....treats me like I am one of his employees.
Before moving here we had a 15 stair climb to get Mom to a shower in my townhouse place - it was so hard I had to give her showers in the kitchen and the two bedrooms were also upstairs - I couldn't hear her from up there so I slept on the couch across from her hospital bed.....
It has really been for the best moving her back out here...it is one level and much easier to care for her...
If, when, Mom passes I can't afford to move anyplace else. My brother can force a sale ...I would never have moved here in a million years if I thought my brother was going to do this... It would take years to get my senior housing in Irvine back.
I did follow your advice called legal aid and got an appointment. Maybe they can contact my brother for Mom and I won't have to be in the middle....I have to believe the Lord will help me through this ....but sometimes I get really sad and scared doing all this with no family to help.... My sister flew out for a 3 day visit and stayed in a hotel- I was so burnt out I had hoped she would give me a break... My brother and sister have not helped in fact they have made it so much harder. I worked as a cna and case manager before getting injured, and it has been a blessing to know how to help my mom. But I thought they would at least pitch in and help me get a break. They just don't understand that it is very hard work ....they are thinking I am taking their inheritance....It is just sad.
Her darling SON can be the one to take care of her. Why on earth did she put someone with a drinking problem on the title?
Even though Mom changed her will and left the place to me in January ( after having the discussion with my brother and sister) ( who both own homes ) ... unless my brother follows through none of that will matter. So here i am. At the end of the day, I am still glad I did it for Mom. I hope she will live to 100, for my sake as well as hers! Maybe someone who reads this will learn to be very careful about these matters ....Take care of yourself....yes.