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My father was admitted to the hospital because he has Sundowners and kept falling at night. I took him to the ER at hospital and they admitted him. He stayed approximately one week. I told the hospital I could not take him home because he is a danger to himself and keeps falling. They did a 50 mile radius search to find him a rehabilitation facility. They couldn’t find anything. I said can you do a 100 mile radius search? They did and found a place. I thought, because they never said otherwise, that this was a rehabilitation only and not permanent. I was under the impression that this was going to be a permanent facility to stay at. Now that they have exhausted his 20 day Medicare stay benefit. They are telling me I need to come pick him up. I had a board and care home ready to take him in last Saturday but the rehabilitation facility would not release him on Saturday until they got their 20 days of Medicare. So we lost the bed at the board and care home. Now I’m being strong armed into picking him up? Can they force me to take him? I can’t handle his needs. He has mild dementia and falls a lot at night. He is 94. I have cared for him for 5 years. Burnt out. Any advice???

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Yok ask for him to be admitted to the NH that is part of the rehab as Medicaid-pending.

Does he have a supplemental policy that will pay the copay on days 21-100?

Is he living in your home?

Tell them that this will be an unsafe discharge, that there is no one to care for him.
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Unfortunately, Yes they can. The only other option is to refuse to take him and petition the court to make him a ward of your state. The downside is that he could be placed anywhere in the state and you'd lose all say in his care/placement/treatment/property/personal effects and any shared bank accounts. Basically, you'd be severing yourself from him. You'd still be able to visit him but that's as far as it would go. Sad and sticky situation.
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Talk to your Ombudsman.
You can also call the Department for the Aging.
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He's lived with you for 5 years? In another post from Oct 2012, you said he'd moved in with you two weeks prior. So that is 7 years...almost 7-1/2 years. You've done your time! Follow Barb's advice. And do NOT take him home.

If he falls a lot at night, that must mean you aren't getting good sleep. You need good sleep.

What's his financial situation? And what's the family situation? Is it just you and your father? Are there siblings?
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Yet another post where the caregiver and family member has come to the edge of that donut hole in our caregiving system. My advice would be to stay firm and strongly tell the SW at the facility Dad is not safe anymore at home. Discharging him would be unsafe and unsafe discharges are unethical. Ask the SW what other options there are. Call the ombudsman as well. If you do somehow cave in and bring Dad home don't hesitate to keep calling 911 with each fall. Normally the hospital caseworker and SWorker are adept at finding long term placement. Has Dad applied for LTC Medicaid yet?
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Right now he has Medicare,Aarp and Medical with a share of cost of $1,054.00 a month. He gets social security and a small pension. Barely pays for his monthly expenses. He lives with me but I am burnt out. I have a 15 year old teen I need to focus on. He has ten, yes ten kids and I am the only one stepping up. I just cant do it anymore.
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