Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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I acknowledge and authorize
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I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
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I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
A person with dementia needs many kinds of care. Professional caregivers are trained to provide it twenty-four hours a day and seven days a week. They're paid to deliver it with kind words and a smile. You will find it extremely difficult to live up to that standard, trust me.
When we marry someone, we take on the responsibility, like it or not, of becoming an unpaid family caregiver for him/her when they become gravely ill with dementia. We sometimes give up our paid jobs to do it. We adjust to lack of sleep, no vacations, little help from family, cleaning up feces and urine all over the place, and being asked the same questions by our loved ones over and over and over and over and over. We no longer go to club meetings we once enjoyed, we have to figure out how to get spouse to ride in the car to the doctor when he keeps trying to jump out while it's in motion, and we learn to remove hazards from our home, such as stove dials and toilet paper, which they choke on when they eat it.
By refusing professional care in a memory care unit, you've ruled out the top-notch care your husband needs and deserves. Certainly you've made your life more difficult as well. Being part of a professional team looking after a beloved spouse is gratifying, and you will never know how beautiful that is. You'll be going it alone, learning on the job when you are worn and weary and don't think you have one more ounce of energy left in you. I've been there with both parents and my husband, and I know.
A "nursing home" by the term we have used in the past does not exist. There are facilities that offer: Independent Living. this would be for anyone that does not need help but wants a safe place to reside.
Assisted Living. this would offer a variety of levels of care/help
Memory Care. this is for anyone that has cognitive diagnosis. Most important for anyone that may wander.
Skilled Nursing. this would be for anyone that has chronic or acute medical problems that can not safely or legally be managed in any other level of care.
Please do not discount placing your husband in a facility that can manage their care safely. Look into paying caregivers that will help you. Honestly taking care of someone with dementia 24/7/365 is a lot. No one can do that year after year and not get burned out. Look into things like Adult Day programs Senior Centers where he can take part in activities. Now if he wanders or needs close supervision this might not be an option. Check with your local senior Service Center and see if you may qualify for programs that will help with caregivers.
Can you be compensated. It depends. It is possible that if he is a Veteran the VA may pay you to care for him. You could check with an Elder Care Attorney and find out if you can pay yourself with household funds. This may prove later that funds were used for his care if there has to be an application for Medicaid.
The key to preventing caregiver burnout is to stay flexible and do creative problem-solving. Facility care for many is a problem-solver -- and life-saver. My MIL was in an excellent, faith-based LTC facility on Medicaid for 7 years. She could not have had a better experience and we were grateful for it.
Please don't assume all nursing homes are the same. My mom is in a wonderful memory care facility. The meals are homemade country food like she is used to. They have activities that she enjoys and it's been a great move for her even though she told me she never wanted to move into any facility. You might want to visit some now to see how things have changed in the last few decades. There are ones that look more like a retirement center than the old 1980s nursing homes. One near our church has an indoor movie theater and many luxury amenities you wouldn't expect.
Spouses are not compensated for caregiving unless your husband pays you. Don't ever write off the possibility of Memory Care Assisted Living or a Skilled Nursing facility if your health and sanity are at risk. It normally takes many caregivers working in shifts to care for a person suffering from AD/dementia.
Please don't be so hard on yourself. Things will change everyday and there may be a time when you can't do it anymore. Do the best you can, but keep your options open. Who knows what will happen in the future, especially with dementia. So many of us were determined to not use a facility and then felt so much guilt when it had to happen. Take care of yourself too. Maybe someone else can comment on getting compensation for his care.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
A person with dementia needs many kinds of care. Professional caregivers are trained to provide it twenty-four hours a day and seven days a week. They're paid to deliver it with kind words and a smile. You will find it extremely difficult to live up to that standard, trust me.
When we marry someone, we take on the responsibility, like it or not, of becoming an unpaid family caregiver for him/her when they become gravely ill with dementia. We sometimes give up our paid jobs to do it. We adjust to lack of sleep, no vacations, little help from family, cleaning up feces and urine all over the place, and being asked the same questions by our loved ones over and over and over and over and over. We no longer go to club meetings we once enjoyed, we have to figure out how to get spouse to ride in the car to the doctor when he keeps trying to jump out while it's in motion, and we learn to remove hazards from our home, such as stove dials and toilet paper, which they choke on when they eat it.
By refusing professional care in a memory care unit, you've ruled out the top-notch care your husband needs and deserves. Certainly you've made your life more difficult as well. Being part of a professional team looking after a beloved spouse is gratifying, and you will never know how beautiful that is. You'll be going it alone, learning on the job when you are worn and weary and don't think you have one more ounce of energy left in you. I've been there with both parents and my husband, and I know.
Please let us know how it goes because we care.
There are facilities that offer:
Independent Living. this would be for anyone that does not need help but wants a safe place to reside.
Assisted Living. this would offer a variety of levels of care/help
Memory Care. this is for anyone that has cognitive diagnosis. Most important for anyone that may wander.
Skilled Nursing. this would be for anyone that has chronic or acute medical problems that can not safely or legally be managed in any other level of care.
Please do not discount placing your husband in a facility that can manage their care safely.
Look into paying caregivers that will help you. Honestly taking care of someone with dementia 24/7/365 is a lot. No one can do that year after year and not get burned out.
Look into things like
Adult Day programs
Senior Centers where he can take part in activities. Now if he wanders or needs close supervision this might not be an option.
Check with your local senior Service Center and see if you may qualify for programs that will help with caregivers.
Can you be compensated. It depends.
It is possible that if he is a Veteran the VA may pay you to care for him.
You could check with an Elder Care Attorney and find out if you can pay yourself with household funds. This may prove later that funds were used for his care if there has to be an application for Medicaid.
Best of luck to you.