I am reading all these lovely stories & how everyone loves their parent & still it's so hard to live in a house with someone who only thinks of himself & treats me like the house maid & is hinting I need to get a job as well. Some days I cannot stand to be in the house with the t.v. blasting with extreme violence, it's a small house, so there is nowhere for me to "get away"(I have tried headphones, hearing aids for him, earplugs for me), it just gets on my last nerve & my dad is not even that bad yet so I wonder how will I manage when he gets worse. I just don't think I can do this and I feel like I am letting him down if I can't. he has always been there for me and I know I owe it to him, but I feel like he could compromise more to help me. he is still in his right mind and honestly has always been self-centered as far as expecting things to be his way. If there is something he doesn't want to do, he says " not interested", for example maybe going to see a grandchild's game or visit an old friend. I tell him maybe that's why no one comes to visit and then I feel mean for speaking the truth. I think I am just venting, but I really, really don't know if I can do this! Thanks for listening.
Were you living with your father before he became ill?
You don't have to stay with him all day and tolerate his abuse, especially if he won't cooperate with you.
It would help to know more about your own personal situation before you began taking care of your father, and what his medical conditions are.
Why are you living with him? How long has this been the case? Is it your house or his? Why don't you have a job?
I hope none of this sounds accusatory or too nosy. It just really helps us be more specific if we have the full picture.
(And for all the lovely stories about how we love our parents, there are plenty on here about how we struggle to care for them or to protect ourselves from their sometimes toxic natures. We don't have any standard of "ideal situations" that we hold people up to!)
It sounds like there are two main things you need to tackle -- dealing with your pain and making some money. Maybe being with your father for a while will give you the opportunity to take care of these two things. Do you still have insurance for the operation on your hip? I have a feeling you would be more employable if you didn't have pain. That may be a good place to start.
I know you were just venting, so I won't go into to offering a lot of advice beyond dealing with the pain. I know sometimes we just need to vent the feelings that are in us.