I work in assisted living. I have this one male resident, I’ll call him Bob. Bob came from skilled nursing next door over to us. We were warned he was awnry and a little mean. But everytime we go into his room he yells at us that we shouldn’t be in there. Even for gathering trash or meal trays. Recently, he had pushed his button cause his meds were late. So I had to go up there with my Med Tech cause I was afraid to be alone with him. Also our MT was a little behind. Bob was getting his Bp taken, I was standing in the room because our MT is also afraid of him, and he wouldn’t stop clenching is fist. Flexing his arm, moving, etc…My MT had to take his bp multiple times because it would fail due to him moving. Bob said he can try one more time. MT tried again and Bob clenched his fist. MT told Bob he can’t clench his fist. Bob said he wasn’t. Then he told our MT “I’ll clench my fist and do something else real quick” Which my MT felt was a threat. Reported it. Nothing happened. I chatted yesterday that I didn’t take that man’s trash because he scares me and he will put it outside his door when he’s ready. I’m normally very nice and do what I can for them, but that man genuinely scares me.
I ask this because it sounds to me like assisted living is not the right for him and he needs memory care. Or a psychiatric facility if he is aggressive and violent.
When mean and ornery graduates to aggression and likely potential violence, call 911 and have 'Bob' taken by ambulance to the hospital for a psych evaluation. Explain to the dispatch that the police will be needed because he is a hostile transfer. They will come.
No one has to tolerate aggressive behavior from anyone. 'Bob' may need to be seriously drugged to keep him under control, and if he's sent to the hospital by ambulance and with the police, the doctors on the psych floor will make sure he is.
Does he have anyone who is is POA? That person can give permission for him to be medicated.
When he's getting aggressive, you steer clear of him and call the cops.
He's been pretty docile of late, maybe they found the right meds for him.
AND there were 2 of us present, plus the woman's daughter.
I stayed one more hour, out of support for the other CG, but didn't go near the woman. The man was content to be diapered and left alone in a recliner to drink himself silly all day. I would not get him his beer, and he yelled at me the whole 2 hrs.
This family had moved the parents from a MC apartment BACK to their condo, b/c the wife required a much higher level of need and they didn't want to pay the 2nd room fee. Thought they'd try in home care.
Epic fail. I walked out and stopped by the 'office' and quit.
Being paid $9.50 to have poop thrown at you, being given a black eye and being groped was just too much for me.
Plus, of course, both hubby & wife were real mean pieces of work--NO WAY could one CG handle them.
Had I stayed (there was no chance of that!) I would have demanded a pysch eval come first and possibly require that they be given something to calm them. (Beer not considered).
If somebody threatens you, you take that seriously. I'm sure you do not get paid enough to put up with abuse.
There has never been any hitting, groping, punching, or black eyes with me.
I once crowned a mental case client in the face with a skillet because he came at me. A few times over the years I've had to use the pepper spray too. I did have one client who got angry and threw her crapped through chux pad at me. I threw it right back at her and let her sit in her diaper for an hour while I waited in the other room (it was a two hour assignment) while she screamed and swore at me. I went back in after the hour and asked her if she was ready to behave decently and if she was then I would get her cleaned up and in her chair. That was my first day on assignment with her. She was on my service for almost four years until I quit her because I moved. We stayed in touch for years though.
I had a senior client years ago with dementia who was a biter. Until she got slapped and I yelled in her face until she cried. She never tried biting me again and I worked that position for a long time.
She still bit her daughter and her other two caregivers. Not me though. Evidently she still had enough mental faculty left to know not to bite me.
Never take people out of memory care. Families never learn. They always think of how much money they will save. They don't think that the workers in a memory care facility have to deal with these kinds of clients, all day long.
She gets loud when she needs to changed or washed; some of her "insults" have been f'n b***h, and whore . Aides mostly ignore her and do what they need to do.
2 older ladies in the room across the way have actually hit and pinched aides that have assisted them ( one actually took a swipe at the one aide trying to comb her hair) All the aides can say is "Stop or Stop It". Two older women not admonished at all.
Those aides are not allowed to take control of the situations because they work in a facility and who knows if they'd have sense enough to not let things get out of hand.
I have never tolerated that kind of behavior from any care client on my service. Even in the AL I was a supervisor at.
If a hands-on aide was struggling with a resident's behavior, they came and got the supervisor. The more unruly residents always knocked it off when I came on the scene.
It's like with children. Kids will push to different degrees with different people.
If they know early on that you are not a push-over and an easy mark, they won't go far. Same with the seniors and handicapped people and their caregivers.
When you establish a little fear early on and that you will tolerate no ill behavior from these people, you won't too much bad behavior.
The real question here is are you ALONE in feeling in danger from Bob? Have you discussed with other workers their own fears?
If there are others fearful of Bob it is clear that the fears may be well founded. If you are the only one who is afraid of Bob, then your facility may tell you that they don't think he is a threat, and if you feel unable to do your job you may need to work somewhere more suited to you.
You are working as a caregiver. I as an RN was expected to cope with my patients unless something was dreadfully amiss and a guard was required.
This of course is something you must take up with your Administration. Meanwhile you would be wise to go into Bob's room accompanied only. I don't know how long you worked at this facility? Is it typical of them to have someone in ALF who so clearly belongs in memory care, and is it typical for them to "last a while". I do know at my brother's ALF this would NEVER have been tolerated at all.
Meanwile YOU need to keep careful incident reports as required (I am sure) by your facility and careful diaries as to who you reported incidents with Bob to, when, and what they said at the time. Should be be injured after your administration ignoring your own (AND the opinion of others working with Bob) complaints, you have a doozy of a lawsuit, not that it would help if you are badly hurt.
Best of luck.
In my state just a few days ago a visiting nurse was killed and he body was found in the basement of the group home her patient lived in.
A few years back in my state it was on our local news about a homecare worker got her ear bit off by a client because she didn't have time to take him to McDonald's after he got his daily "meds" which was methadone. So he flew into a rage and bit her ear off. This guy didn't live in an AL or group home.
No, he was on disability for addiction and had his own apartment which he paid next to nothing for. A staff of state-paid servants had to drive him anywhere he had to go, clean his house, cook his food, and accompany him wherever he wanted to go. All free.
He didn't go to jail for the assault. He was put into a mental facility for a couple months then sent back to his apartment.
Homecare can be a dangerous job.
Don’t take chances. It was a good idea to take the MT in there, and you should continue to do that. My guess is that Bob won’t be there long, but good luck until then.
Good luck.