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I live out of state he thinks I should move down there to take care of her. I love my mom but my family is here. So he gets mad and says nasty things to me

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Jeanett, I came across this posting of yours from earlier in the month "my brother and his girlfriend are trying to get guardianships for mom and going to try to keep my mom from seeing me or talking to me they already change the phone number and will not give it to me .just didnt know if they could do that".

Apparently your Mom is already living with your brother... sounds like your brother is trying to blackmail you into coming down to take care of your mother. I suggest you get in contact with an Elder Law attorney to see what you can do about this.
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Tell your brother it is not possible for you to move closer to your mother. If he gets nasty, tell him she is his mother too. Does he live closer? Do not put up with his behaviour, even put the phone down on him. Keep us informed.
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So, who has PoA? What are mom's impairments? Is your brother doing actual caregiving or is he anticipating? It sounds as though someone needs to put a REALLY plan together, rather than your brother's plan for you to give up your life and be the hands on person. Every county has an area agency on aging. Start out by finding out what that agency is for Mom's current area and for yours. Do some research and if possible, work with your brother on a plan for Mom's care. But as AH says, if he gets nasty, just hang up and let him work it out for himself. He sounds scared.
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Jeanett, be sure to participate in the guardianship hearing process. State that you are OK with brother having guardianship (if you are) but that you want visitation rights, including telephone contact rights. If he becomes guardian without some limits he will have complete control.
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