I am so frustrated that I cant find a place for mom. My mom really needs a place that can take care of her and her needs but but for some reason there does not seem to be a place nor will anyone help me find one. She is in a place that is horrible and I don't feel safe with her there. I have called everyone only to find the same answer I cant help you. Dept of aging has been no help, the NH where she is at is a joke, they threaten to kick her out but wont find a place for her. I live in another state so I cant move her here, and such, this has been such a challenge that my health is getting bad, but I have to help my mom. AM I the only one in this boat. I need help which I cant seem to get, I am in tears all the time knowing that my mom may die in this miserable place where she is at, Her actions have gotten her here, with her eloping at the NM, and arguing, so my search is difficult. Working with her is a pain, it has to be done now, always now, I have no life, my children dont want to see her because of the way she acts, my husbands is mad at me about her, I work long hours and well I dont have a ton of time nor can I take off, my boss has no heart and well says what is more important the job or family. I am stuck, lost, sad and sick advice?
Another way to find help would be perhaps check with area churches.
Good Luck.
It is horrible that the elderly have nowhere to go that will look after them. Oh yes, they were nice and did all these evils etc, but what good if no one would give her fluids and tell her to drink? She came home with bronchitis and now I am in same boat? What to do?
I agree with others that suggest that you don't rule out moving her near you. Call around to a few facilities in your area that accept Medicaid. Talk to your county's office on aging. If she's going to make a move anyway, why not have her conveniently located?
Also, stand firm with the nursing home where she's currently located. If they're threatening to kick her out, they need to know she has somewhere to go. Make sure they know that you are not providing that place.
p.s. – 'A Place for Mom' is simply a clearing house for information about senior communities. They don't do any real legwork or professional consultation. Communities pay them (a sizable fee) for every lead they generate that results in someone moving in to their community.
I do not want to live in this area so when the time comes i want mum to be in a NH near me as im her only daughter if she was to stay in this area my brother would not see to her needs in the home.
Poor you what a mess. Hope you get this sorted soon.
You don't say why you can't move your mother closer to you. If you decide to move her (which is always hard on them), you might as well move her close to you if there are which would make some things easier, but it will never be easy.
Best to you in your decisions.
Indeed, they really affected small group homes business.
Google! Research your state site for local licensed facilities and call all of them!
One more tip: "convenient" does not mean "the best". Look for facility you like, not for the closest one.
And it is important to look for a place that knows how to deal with dementia patients. My mother is in an AL that has a memory care unit. She is total private pay which is hard. We have gone through mom and dad's complete savings and she draws retirement from my dad's prior employer so she will never qualify for Medicaid. I am going back to work so that my sister and I can pay for her to remain there.
If you feel she is in danger you need to move her.
I've been trying to get my cousin into Assisted Living, since there is no one else who will do it. She burned bridges with people over the years and no one cares to help her now. It's been very difficult. I have googled and found lists of places who take Medicaid and not just private pay. I then call and chat, research them on line and then drop by for a visit. Today we are supposed to go in person for an evaluation. They are just across the street from the hospital, so her health care will be close by.
Is your mom in AL or nursing home?
In my research, I found that there are private agencies you can hire that will do the research and arrangements on your behalf. They charge for this, but I don't know how much. I would imagine it is rather expensive, but it might be worth if they are in the area your mom lives and can take care of things for you.