My 100 yr old mother and 62 yr old brother are heavily co-dependent. When it was decided three months ago that Mom had to go to a nursing home instead of the planned move to assisted living, it meant that my brother no longer got half Mom's pension each month, and no longer had the free place to crash when he didn't feel like going home. I as the power of attorney cut off the payments to him which were bankrupting my mother, and the bro got so furious I was afraid for my safety. Since then, I had to hire a security guard to protect me while emptying Mom's house which had sold; the nursing home reported my bro to the police, and my bro threatened mom's doctor to the point the doctor refused to see Mom with bro again.
At this point, Mom is not allowed out of the nursing home because brother has announced his intention of stealing her away to his home. (My brother is chronically depressed, alcoholic, on disability, and his home looks like something you'd see in a hoarders reality show.) However she has been transferred to another nursing home closer to bro's house. They both want this, so I'm hoping it will reduce the anger. I'd just like to know if anyone else has dealt with a similar situation, and how you managed it.
It is sad but it is frightening what can happen to families in situations where money or inheritance are involved. Personally I have had some worries about a sibiling, parent and ex husband doing harm to me. I felt stupid as though I must be making things up in my mind, one day my 22 year old daughter told me that she had fears of sibling and parent possibly harming her and me. I was shocked as we had NEVER discussed this before.... I guess I was not just imagining things if she has the same worries.
Money will make even normally sane individuals go crazy if they feel they are being robbed. Your brother does not really care about the welfare of your Mom he just needs her money. It is an unfortunate situtation.
I'm glad you saw what it was doing to yourself and backed away from it. Sometimes that is the healthiest thing to do.
I am thankful that I live in an out of the way area. It is far away from the evil niece and nephew. Plus they have no idea what my physical address is. I'm always afraid that someone will show up and take my mom.
I have several violent relatives. And, I had to carry a mace gun, and wanted a real gun, when I was emptying out and fixing up my mom's house for sale. It is not a good feeling but as long as you document things thoroughly, report any physical altercations to the police, you will have a record of it all on file for use later on.
It's unfortunate that some of us have to fear for our safety but for some of us it is our reality.
Stay safe and always be aware of your surroundings. That's good advice in any situation.