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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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If there's a next time call 911 right away and they will take him to the ER for evaluation. Don't go pick him up when they discharge him. Tell him he's an "unsafe discharge" and then ask to talk to the hospital social worker to see if he can go directly into a facility where he will receive the protection and medical care he needs and you can have your life back.
From other posts you've written, the doctor has diagnosed your father with dementia which you believe is not dementia but a personality disorder.
You and your siblings have decided to visit him daily at his home bc he refuses to be placed in long term care.
Is this accurate?
You've been getting advice telling you that you cannot use reason or logic with an elder suffering with dementia, yet you told him yesterday to "pretend to be happy to see you" and were waiting to see if he remembered to pretend today. He didn't and you were forewarned that's the nature of the beast with dementia.
My advice is let his doctor know his behavior has advanced to physical hitting. Then stop visiting him. You may have to wait for a crisis to occur whereby the hospital refuses to release him to move back home to live alone. That's when he moves into Skilled Nursing even if he doesn't want to.
In the meanwhile, read up on dementia so you know what to expect from dad as it progresses. I'd believe the medical diagnosis if I were you. I'd also avoid visits where he can hurt you again, and trying to reason with him, bc it's not possible.
In an earlier post you said your grandfather didn't like you. As Maya Angelou says when someone shows you who they are believe them. Don't give him the time of day or the opportunity to hit you again. You can't expect him to pretend he likes you. That's not how dementia works.
You have to take care of yourself and you NEED to keep yourself safe. If it is no longer safe for you or others to care for him then there is no option but to place him in Memory Care. Medication can help with anger, anxiety, frustration so talk to his doctor about what is happening and start medications that may help. It may not help right away. As with a lot of medication the correct dose and the correct medication has to be found. YOU have to take care of YOURSELF.
I have a hard time understanding some of your posts. Also a reply you made to someone elses post.
I don't think you understand how Dementia works. I think your expecting more than what your Dad now can give. The first thing people with Dementia lose is their short-term memory meaning what you tell Dad one day he will not remember the next day, sometimes in the next minute. They lose their filter and their empathy. They can no longer process what is being said to them. You want him to pretend he likes seeing you? You are expecting too much from someone whose brain is broken and dying.
He hit you. That is not good. If it happens again you HAVE to report it. He needs to be medicated. He needs to be in a care facility.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
A change in mental status (hitting, agitation, new delusions) can signal a medical event like a stroke or UTI.
Calling 911 would not be an over-reaction. Get him to the hospital and get him evaluated.
AND talk to the social workers about the fact that he lives alone and needs to be in long term care.
You and your siblings have decided to visit him daily at his home bc he refuses to be placed in long term care.
Is this accurate?
You've been getting advice telling you that you cannot use reason or logic with an elder suffering with dementia, yet you told him yesterday to "pretend to be happy to see you" and were waiting to see if he remembered to pretend today. He didn't and you were forewarned that's the nature of the beast with dementia.
My advice is let his doctor know his behavior has advanced to physical hitting. Then stop visiting him. You may have to wait for a crisis to occur whereby the hospital refuses to release him to move back home to live alone. That's when he moves into Skilled Nursing even if he doesn't want to.
In the meanwhile, read up on dementia so you know what to expect from dad as it progresses. I'd believe the medical diagnosis if I were you. I'd also avoid visits where he can hurt you again, and trying to reason with him, bc it's not possible.
Good luck to you
If it is no longer safe for you or others to care for him then there is no option but to place him in Memory Care.
Medication can help with anger, anxiety, frustration so talk to his doctor about what is happening and start medications that may help. It may not help right away. As with a lot of medication the correct dose and the correct medication has to be found.
YOU have to take care of YOURSELF.
I literally thought this was written in Cyrillic on the first read.
I don't think you understand how Dementia works. I think your expecting more than what your Dad now can give. The first thing people with Dementia lose is their short-term memory meaning what you tell Dad one day he will not remember the next day, sometimes in the next minute. They lose their filter and their empathy. They can no longer process what is being said to them. You want him to pretend he likes seeing you? You are expecting too much from someone whose brain is broken and dying.
He hit you. That is not good. If it happens again you HAVE to report it. He needs to be medicated. He needs to be in a care facility.