i live in my dads house rent free , he has a aide from 8am till 1 pm mon to fri . i am his caretaker from 1 pm till 8 am . he is very well taken care of (social workers will attest to this) . i am there 24/7 sat/sunday . i took a large pay cut to work part time i receive $800 monthy from dad for this care. this does not fit well with sibilings who dont pitch in at all . avarage rent for 1 bedroom is $1500 so if you think that way its a total of $2300.live in caretakers avarage pay is $1200 weekely am i being unfair ?
You are being underpaid. We were paying $32 per hour and this was in a poor part of the US.
2. If you do a quick search for what caregivers make in your area I think you will be surprised to know that the average (depending on where you live) is roughly $30.00 per hour in some areas even more. Weekend and overnight will differ. A phone call to a local agency will answer this for you.
3. Your dad should be paying you "legally" with taxes taken out and all the proper paperwork filed. This job working for your dad is GREATLY going to effect you in the future. You have no legitimate work history for this time. And no payment towards Medicare and Social Security.
And I have to ask are you POA for Health and Finances?
If you are a contract should be done and you should be paid fairly. This can be done if your dad is competent. If he is not competent then that will make things a bit more difficult.
If you are POA for health and finances what you are getting paid, the arrangements for "room and board" should not be discussed with anyone.
If one of your siblings is POA and they are one of the reasons you are not getting paid more you might want to find another place, get a job (if you can get your other job even better) and leave. Let your siblings figure it out. Indentured servitude is not legal
It sounds like you have several different challenges involving your father and your siblings, so it would be best to consult an Elder Law attorney to make sure everything is in line with possible Medicaid need, the IRS, and his will/inheritances.
You are, if anything, undercompensated. and extremely thoughtful to do this for your dad. That means you need to be protected from things that could go wrong, that you might not anticipate.
Is your dad of sound mind, to visit the attorney with you? Or is he incompetent and if so, do you have his POA, in which case you can visit the attorney alone on his behalf? Even if you don't have POA, you should still see the attorney for your own interests.
It's kind of you to take on the responsibility of your father. Is it financially possible for your father to make up the difference in the wages you lost by cutting back the hours on your other job to take care of him?
If your siblings are giving you a hard time about the $800 a month, have them contact a homecare agency and ask how much it would cost for an hourly caregiver 19 hours a day, and a live-in on weekends to care for an elderly, wheelchair-bound care client. I own a homecare agency and will tell you my friend, it will cost a lot more than that $800 a month you get. If the 8am-1pm aide five days a week works for a homecare agency, it's costing more than $800 a week for that alone.
You do not owe your siblings any explanation for anything you do for your father and it's none of their business how much he pays you. What the adult children of aging parents needing care so often forget is that the money they're so worried about doesn't actually belong to them. The money, assets, and property belong to MOM and/or DAD and they can spend it as they want. Of course, if a senior has dementia, that's a whole other issue and their assets must be protected. Judging by what you're saying here, your father is well cared for and no one is abusing him financially. Your siblings would do well to be told that inheritance is not guaranteed. There is no law stating that a person must leave their children their money and assets.
Remember, you DO NOT work for your siblings. They do not employ you. Therefore you do not owe them any documentation on what you do for your father or any other explanation.
What has your dad shown you in terms of the inheritance vs just verbally telling you
The issue that often upsets siblings isn't the amount. It's the perception that:
- One sibling is benefiting financially.
- They don't fully understand the level of care being provided.
- There is little documentation
If there is concern about future disputes, the best protection is:
- A written caregiver agreement.
- Documentation of duties performed.
- Clear records of payments.
- Evidence that your father agreed to the arrangement while competent.
Many elder law attorneys recommend exactly this because it protects both the parent and the caregiving adult child.
Please remember: if your Father may eventually need Medicaid, caregiver payments and free housing should be documented properly because Medicaid can scrutinize transfers and compensation arrangements during the look-back period.
From a practical standpoint, if a sibling believes $800/month plus housing is excessive, you might ask, "Would you be willing to provide the same level of care and supervision for that compensation?" The answer often clarifies how much value the caregiving actually has.
Many live-in caregivers receive substantially more compensation than the economic value you're describing. If your arrangement isn't being treated like a true employment set-up then withholding for your SS and Medicare is not happening, and this will eventually be a problem when you need these benefits when you retire. Do not short yourself.
Your are also not getting paid vacation or PTO, healthcare benefits or contributions to a 401k or SEP. Please reconsider going back to your prior occupation and letting your Father pay someone else for his care. This way you protect your own future, you won't burn out caring for him, you won't be undervalued, suspected and disrespected by your siblings and your Father will get appropriate care.