I flew my dad to my home because he was alone and in and out of hospital. Once he got to my home, i saw first hand how he really wasn't capable of living alone. He doesn't qualify for nursing home and can't afford assisted living. We have a huge house, he has his own room. He stays in his room, watches tv, eats in his room, he only comes out to get water or go to bathroom. Hes on oxygen 24/7. He also gives us money every month so he doesn't feel like a free loader. My husband wants me to kick him out. Why? Because he says he doesn't like him.... I'm not sure I can do that. I wouldn't do it to a dog, and this is my dad.
There should be options (Medicaid if necessary) that would help your dad live with other seniors so that he can have some socialization and live in a setting where he is cared for and not totally alone. It's not worth it to break up a marriage of 31 years - your priority is your husband, in my opinion. When you marry, your immediate family shifts to that of your husband and any children you might have. Your father is second in priority. That's assuming this change hasn't brought all kinds of existing problems between you and your husband to a head and this is just one indication of a relationship that was already having major issues.
I have been dealing with something similar with my sig other who's parents passed on in their 80's years ago, but my parents lived into their mid and late 90's [Dad is still here and lives in Assisted Living]. Sig other still whines and complains. He wasn't comfortable visiting my Dad when Dad was in Independent Living, the place was like a really nice hotel, but sig other didn't like seeing people with walkers or scooters. Now he probably won't visit Dad in Assisted Living with just about everyone has walkers or wheelchairs. That really is a thorn in my side because he acts that way. We are both 70 years old, and he's afraid that might be his reality some day.