My dad is getting very forgetful. He needs to be in assisted living and the only money he would have available would be by selling his home. He does not want to do this because he wants to leave it to the kids. We told him we don’t need the money we want him to take care of himself. Can’t seem to reason with him. He cannot move until the house sells so he can afford assisted-living. As time goes on it will only get worse. How do we convince him to sell when he doesn’t think he needs it?
Have you obtained a "needs assessment" from his doctor or the local Area Agency on Aging?
YOU guys telling dad he needs to be in AL probably won't work. Having his doctor or another professional do so might do the trick.
When my mom was beginning to need care, I started a stealth campaign to point out the inadequacies of her living situation. No sidewalks, no one home in the neighborhood during the day. No public transportation. Difficult access during snow and ice. Prone to flooding. Isolated.
You may need to wait for a hospitalization. Get him into rehab at a nice place that also has an AL attached.
In consultation with an eldercare attorney, dad might consider a reverse mortgage or a home equity loan to bridge him into care, if he agrees to go. Consider, however, the upfront costs of these financial transactions and only proceed with competent eldercare advisement.
Dad has NO other funds? No savings or retirement accounts?
That was the only way I could get my Mom into a place as she needed a village to help her.... and she had to take whatever bed was available. No choices.
The irony is...she loves it. We will now sell her house as she needs those funds to pay for AL.
It's easy to say no to the unknown, especially when familiar routines & places help ground people. I wonder if Dad had a few positive visits to the chosen AL, a few lunches, meets a few people, hopefully he could begin to feel some familiarity there?
Then he may be willing to sign some documents to make it all happen.