I have been the sole caregiver for my Dad for about 6 years now since he had his pacemaker implanted and stopped driving. He's 91 so that is a milestone right there!
Around the beginning of April, he started to decline sharply. He was no longer able to take showers by himself, lost his appetite, slept most of the day and other little things that just showed up. I took him to his primary care physician when it started to happen, and she had no clue as to what was going on. That was about the time he started to talk about dying and hospice so a few weeks later she referred him to it. Now we have a nurse coming in the house once a week and a CNA twice a week for showers. Dad has gotten over his shyness so on Saturdays I give him a shower.
Right now, the biggest fear is pneumonia. Dad was a smoker for over 70 years before quitting cold turkey when he got the pacemaker. He has a lot of congestion in is lungs because of his heart shutting down, I guess. The nurse told us this morning that if he did get pneumonia he would die. So, we have him on a nebulizer and one of those suction devices. The problem with the suction device is that my dad would have to use it because I could hurt him. He tried it today, but his cognitive skills are slipping away and he's a bit leery (as am I) about using it.
The hospice nurse said that he didn't have to use it if he didn't want to because hospice was more about comfort care.
If he can’t use the suction device, don’t worry about it. Concentrate on what kind of good memories you can make with him now. Just reminiscing about good times, watch a favorite movie of his or listen to songs he really likes. Look out the window at the birds. Ask him what was his favorite treat when he was a little boy, like maybe root beer float or jelly beans. If you can, find him whatever it is and enjoy a bite with him.
Sounds like you have done a fantastic job caring for him. He is very lucky to have you. He is also fortunate that he lived this long after smoking so many decades.
PS my dad had dementia and a lot of really bad physical issues, and died in hospice from aspiration pneumonia, which came on from coughing and breathing in his own saliva. No one could have prevented that. Once it set in, he got morphine every two hours around the clock. There was no point in trying to aggressively fight the aspiration pneumonia. I was truly grateful that it took less than 48 hours from onset to his passing. As Margaret said, if not that, something else would have gotten him. Best wishes to you both.
You are currently facing down the end of life and I am so thankful you have end of life care in place with hospice. The goal in now medication for comfort. Whether it is pneumonia or that failing heart pump or sepsis, something will come to usher your Dad out in all likelihood. I wouldn't worry about that 5 month thing. He is almost certain to continue to qualify for Hospice care. I wish you the best and comfort and peace for your Dad.
I wish you peace as you go through this difficult time.
If your dad has a lot of congestion, ask the hospice nurse to order the scopolamine patches that they can put behind his ears to help with that. Those worked pretty well for my husband. They put one behind each ear.
So I will just say enjoy whatever time you may have left with your dad, and leave nothing left unsaid.