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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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I can never figure out what to do, either, when they get stubborn. We really can't make them do anything they choose not to. We can only decide if we are still able to care for them. There comes a stage that even when you have proof in hand that they still don't believe you. Sometimes when my mother is refusing to do things, I just leave her to her own devices and she will end up doing it after I leave the room. It may work to say, "Here's your pills and some water when you're ready to take your pills," then leave your dad alone for a while. It might work.
Does Dad have the capacity to have an honest, cogent heart-to-heart with you? (That you would have to initiate.) Perhaps the pill refusal is Dad's way of saying "enough's enough" ???
I was solely responsible for my FIL the last 6 months of his life. I would hand him his pills and a drink and walk away. (Assuming, of course, he was taking them).
He went to the hospital for what turned out to be the last time--after he passed I was cleaning and pulled out his recliner. Underneath were hundreds of pills. He hadn't taken anything for well over a month. I just chuckled under my breath and said "You won, dad".
Now, I will state that nothing he was taking was "life altering"..and the side effects...mostly gastro problems--just not worth it.
I agree with Black hole. This could well be your dad's way of saying "I'm DONE!"
I plan to quit all meds when I am 70. I have no desire to live forever, and I see my mother shoveling down 20+ pills a day and I wonder, "why????"
Karen, my Dad was always forgetting to take his pills, he would say "I will take them later". We would leave notes around his senior apartment reminding him, and I would rotate the notes so they wouldn't get too common place. That didn't help.
Since Dad was in a senior facility, I was able to use a paid option of having a "med-tech" who worked at the facility come in twice a day to give Dad his meds. His meds were kept under lock in the nurses office, and they would re-order the pills when needed. That worked !! I think it was more the nursing uniform that made him think he better take his meds :)
Now, I don't know if you could hire someone to come to Dad's home to do that as a part-time caregiver who is licensed to dispense medicines.
Karen, do you prepare his meals? If so, find out from his pharmacist if the pills can be crushed. If so, crush them and hide them in food. Unless they're particularly foul tasting, he won't know the difference.
Or perhaps you can offer something pleasurable after he takes him, such as a little bit of ice cream, his favorite music (just put it on and play it, but only after taking meds)....little things that he associates with taking meds on a subconscious level.
If your dad refuses, maybe it's time to reevaluate what drugs are important for him. What's his diagnosis? If he has dementia, statins are not helping him. They might keep him around longer to suffer the effects of dementia longer (I'd prefer to be taken out by a massive heart attack than by the slow decline of dementia). If the drugs are for anxiety because of dementia, that's different. Docs are required to prescribe for health of the patient, not for the pts' best interest. You can talk to doc and change goals if care to palliative, where you are not trying to cure anything, but relieve suffering.
Once pills are minimized, then it's time to make boundaries. If Dad is unmanageable at home when he won't take his pills, you can make a rule that he has to go to memory care or asst living after x number of days straight, or x times. This is a sign of mental decline and it won't get better. Instead of driving yourself crazy trying to manage, set this number so you have a line in the sand as to when it is time for placement.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
He went to the hospital for what turned out to be the last time--after he passed I was cleaning and pulled out his recliner. Underneath were hundreds of pills. He hadn't taken anything for well over a month. I just chuckled under my breath and said "You won, dad".
Now, I will state that nothing he was taking was "life altering"..and the side effects...mostly gastro problems--just not worth it.
I agree with Black hole. This could well be your dad's way of saying "I'm DONE!"
I plan to quit all meds when I am 70. I have no desire to live forever, and I see my mother shoveling down 20+ pills a day and I wonder, "why????"
Since Dad was in a senior facility, I was able to use a paid option of having a "med-tech" who worked at the facility come in twice a day to give Dad his meds. His meds were kept under lock in the nurses office, and they would re-order the pills when needed. That worked !! I think it was more the nursing uniform that made him think he better take his meds :)
Now, I don't know if you could hire someone to come to Dad's home to do that as a part-time caregiver who is licensed to dispense medicines.
Or perhaps you can offer something pleasurable after he takes him, such as a little bit of ice cream, his favorite music (just put it on and play it, but only after taking meds)....little things that he associates with taking meds on a subconscious level.
Once pills are minimized, then it's time to make boundaries. If Dad is unmanageable at home when he won't take his pills, you can make a rule that he has to go to memory care or asst living after x number of days straight, or x times. This is a sign of mental decline and it won't get better. Instead of driving yourself crazy trying to manage, set this number so you have a line in the sand as to when it is time for placement.