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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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My mother and father's relationship is strained - she nags him to seek medical care to see what is going on and he resists and shuts her out. Are there support groups that she can attend? Other options for supporting them during this difficult time?
Tell her to stop nagging. The old bear will dig his heels in and defy her just to prove he is still in control. My father did not discuss his medical history with anyone, not his wife, not us. He lived in full control of his destiny and dropped dead at 83. May you live so long and die so quick.
In his seventies, my father saw a new MD. "Sir" said the doctor " Your blood pressure is high, you are grossly overweight and your sugar is marginal. What do you intend to do about this?" and Dad replied " Well, so far, I've buried three doctors." True Story.
I've learned from experience when I knew that my bedridden father had pneumonia based on his coughing and the color of the phlegm - that you cannot force anyone to seek medical help if they don't want to. I went as far as begging the 911 to send the ambulance and just TRY. They came, asked him some questions and then left. They were quite nice and understanding.
As for your mom, have you tried calling your aging care center there? We live in a small island and we have a local government division for the elderlies. If you can look in the Yellow Pages or the Government Listing Pages for Senior Citizen, etc.. you can ask what kinds of programs they have. My dad did this. They sent a social worker to do an assessment and mom got approved. The govt caregivers came 4 hours a week to give the caregiver some respite (time out from caregiving.) The govt workers would shower mom, change her bedding, do some light housecleaning like mopping the livingroom, laundry, etc...
Dad also found out from this department the meals-on-wheels program. Mom qualified for Monday-Friday. Dad argued with them that because he's older than mom and her full-time caregiver, that he has no time to cook lunch while taking care of her. So, they included him in the meals-on-wheels.
There was also a federal govt program that was studying dementia - in which my dad applied for mom as their case study. In return, they provided 1 hour caregiver respite a week and some free supplies (like pampers, wipes, boxes of gloves, etc...) for free or at such a low discount price.
I hear that they now have a program in which the elderly adults with dementia, etc...can attend in the day time and due stuff like arts-n-craft, dancing, etc.... (adult daycare - but I wouldn't use that to your mom. )
Your mom isn't going to get what she wants---your dad to see a Dr.---by nagging him. There's nothing she can do to make him want to see his Dr. There are no support groups for people who can't make other people do what they want.
I'm sure it drives your mom nuts that your dad won't see his Dr. but unfortunately that is your mom's issue, not your dad's.
I agree with the above poster who talked about finding out what kind of resources your mom has. Respite care? A few hours a day with an aide? If your mom needs some time away from your dad she can set that up with or without his permission.....until dad throws the person out of the house on the first day and then you have an entirely new problem. Once your dad's refusals begin to affect your mom's health (stress level, anxiety, etc) the concern should then be for mom and getting her what she needs. Does your dad have dementia? I didn't read your profile. If your dad doesn't have dementia then someone will need to sit him down and explain to him what needs to happen. Maybe a son or a son-in-law, preferably another man. The discussion should focus on mom. What mom needs. If your dad continues to compromise your mom's health and well-being perhaps someone should suggest that he might be happier if he lived away from your mom, say in an assisted living facility.
When someone's fear/stubbornness/need for control/fear/denial begin to affect the people around them action needs to be taken.
But before it gets to this point, have your mom stop hounding your dad about going to see a Dr. See if that works.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
As for your mom, have you tried calling your aging care center there? We live in a small island and we have a local government division for the elderlies. If you can look in the Yellow Pages or the Government Listing Pages for Senior Citizen, etc.. you can ask what kinds of programs they have. My dad did this. They sent a social worker to do an assessment and mom got approved. The govt caregivers came 4 hours a week to give the caregiver some respite (time out from caregiving.) The govt workers would shower mom, change her bedding, do some light housecleaning like mopping the livingroom, laundry, etc...
Dad also found out from this department the meals-on-wheels program. Mom qualified for Monday-Friday. Dad argued with them that because he's older than mom and her full-time caregiver, that he has no time to cook lunch while taking care of her. So, they included him in the meals-on-wheels.
There was also a federal govt program that was studying dementia - in which my dad applied for mom as their case study. In return, they provided 1 hour caregiver respite a week and some free supplies (like pampers, wipes, boxes of gloves, etc...) for free or at such a low discount price.
I hear that they now have a program in which the elderly adults with dementia, etc...can attend in the day time and due stuff like arts-n-craft, dancing, etc.... (adult daycare - but I wouldn't use that to your mom. )
I'm sure it drives your mom nuts that your dad won't see his Dr. but unfortunately that is your mom's issue, not your dad's.
I agree with the above poster who talked about finding out what kind of resources your mom has. Respite care? A few hours a day with an aide? If your mom needs some time away from your dad she can set that up with or without his permission.....until dad throws the person out of the house on the first day and then you have an entirely new problem. Once your dad's refusals begin to affect your mom's health (stress level, anxiety, etc) the concern should then be for mom and getting her what she needs. Does your dad have dementia? I didn't read your profile. If your dad doesn't have dementia then someone will need to sit him down and explain to him what needs to happen. Maybe a son or a son-in-law, preferably another man. The discussion should focus on mom. What mom needs. If your dad continues to compromise your mom's health and well-being perhaps someone should suggest that he might be happier if he lived away from your mom, say in an assisted living facility.
When someone's fear/stubbornness/need for control/fear/denial begin to affect the people around them action needs to be taken.
But before it gets to this point, have your mom stop hounding your dad about going to see a Dr. See if that works.