My dad spends most of the day in bed, sleeping. He doesn't like laying lengthwise. He lays in the middle of the bed, almost perpendicular, with his legs splayed over the edge, feet on the floor. He has slipped off the edge and fallen onto the floor several times, but because it doesn't hurt, he doesn't care. He tells me to let him be, and with lots of trouble, he crawls back up himself. It takes him an hour to do so. I tried a bedrail to keep him in, but he doesn't want it, because he has trouble lowering it and wants access to his bedside commode.
His strength fluctuates. Sometimes, he can sit up and go to the commode. Other times, he's so weak and sleepy that he dirties the pull-up diapers he wears. With legs hanging off the bed and him too weak to roll or lift his hips up, I'm not able to change his pull-ups. He's a big man, too heavy for me to move him, and I don't have a helper, just me. I tried a position pad with handles and techniques that a nurse taught me and still can't move or roll him to a better position.
It causes me stress, seeing him hang off the bed like that, knowing he can fall, also knowing that I can't clean him or change him properly. He won't listen to me to put his legs on the bed. Sometimes, he's too weak or sleepy and purposely ignores me.
My dad is 80, has diabetes, heart disease, one foot is amputated (the toe part, the heel is still there), he's unable to walk but can transfer to a chair, fluctuating strength, and is getting weaker. No dementia. Stubborn and obstinate personality all of his life. His care team thinks I can reason with him and convince him of things, but I can't. It's demoralizing when he purposely ignores me and won't work with me at all.
Are you living with your dad in his house, or is he living with you in your house, or do you live separately and go over to take care of him?
If you do not hold POA, tell dad you're quitting immediately. He's causing you entirely too much stress and anxiety by sleeping with his legs hanging off the bed as he does. And your health matters too. He either complies with a small request by you or he finds another willing caregiver to deal with his nonsense.
This is a first in the 10 yrs or so I've been here, let me tell you. I'm sorry you've been put in such a position to begin with.
Best of luck to you.
"care team" should be trying to convince him, since patients will sometimes listen to them more than their child.
so im going to tell you what i do for my dad and hope it can help.
we have two layers of pants - an incontinence pad - which is slipped inside a pair of disposable incontinence pants. when dirty - all you need to do is remove the pad - and insert another in - with hopefully wipe down. We use wet wipes - body ones which are larger. (actually dip them into a small bowl of warm water with a little disinfectant and hold them with kitchen towel for weight to wipe). It holds a lot more liquid so may get him through the night - the bowel motion - well if he feels it he may try to get up - id have a look at his eatign times - eating main meals earlier so that toilet time is before bedtime (juggle meal times around if possible) Once he sees the two layer pants hold the water he may just accept to lay there til morning allowing them to do their job?) disposable pants can be ripped /tear off fromt he sides - we buy a size up so theyre easier to put on.
It helps to contact his doctor and get barrier cream for hsi private area to stop any rashes so use front and back.
try and look at the water consumption also - trying to drink less towards later evening. manybe divert him with a healthier snack - a yogurt?
as for falling - thats a hard one - some people put a mattress to the floor by the side - but i guess stepping ona mattress could make any of us unsteady... does he need a bed frme - can the mattress be put ont he floor? i geuss it may be harder to get up but could help with the fall accidents?
maybe a urinal next to his bed?
i use waterproof bedding so what he lays on - any spills dont go to mattress - theyre much better than years ago - not loud like paper sounds - dont even know theyre there... also use waterproof duvet cover - that pops into a duvet cover - saves on work from those little accidents.
over here in health shops and chemists we have herbal range sleeping aids - i use one called rescue night - its a herbal tablet that suppose to stop the internal chatter (worry) - my dad sleeps more peaceful - it doesnt always help with sleeping - but when he does sleep - its less agitated /peaceful so less nonsense going on during the night and he wakes up fresh and hey dad did you have anice sleep = "yes i did"
I hope something helps. Failing it doesnt id contact aged charities and pose to them - they must be used to these situations - Best.
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