After a recent hospital stay, my dad has been bed bound for a week or so. I live with him and have been his caregiver when he was mobile, but now he needs help changing his diapers and getting dressed. He lets my brother or the paid caregivers do this, but refuses when my niece or I offer. It's an intimate thing to force on someone. Any suggestions?
You need to respect his wishes, his privacy, and his comfort level.
Please arrange for another care provider to manage this for him. Is your dad recovering, or is this the beginning of a new bed bound chapter for him?
I'm curious why he was not discharged from hospital to a skilled nursing rehab facility where his personal cares would be managed while he recovers enough to be sent home.
If he is not expected to fully recover, and this is now a way of life for him, you need to consider placing him in a long term care facility. You can have a talk with him about it. If he insists he wants to be home with you, then he may need to compromise on his level of comfort with you managing his personal cares, if he is unable to hire full time, round the clock caregivers. Or if your brother is willing to step up and be the 24 hour diaper changer.
When we went to visit an Uncle in an AL, the aide came in and told him bath time. He walked into the bathroom and locked the door. She stood outside and was asking him to unlock the door. My Aunt told us he won't allow the aides in when he is getting a shower. My husband said "either would I".
That's not all bad!