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If your father does not have dementia, there is nothing you can do. Can you do an internet search or background check to see if she is a professional predator? Even if she is your dad may be too enamored to believe you. When he is broke and she inevitably abandons him please do not pay for any of his care. This disaster is of his own making and he will have to live with it. And unfortunately, so will you. I'm so sorry...it just sucks.
How long has this lady been on the scene? And, seeing as you were prevented from "checking on finances," where do your concerns about her cleaning him out come from?
The thing is. If your father is wining and dining this person and having a high old time of it, and that's all, then I'm afraid... "there's no fool like an old fool." As long as he's in full possession of his mental faculties, you simply have to respect his right to do as he pleases with his own property.
I would add: I have met many gentlemen of 78 whose company I can imagine would be very enjoyable. 78 is not too old for the 45 year old girlfriend to like him for himself, you know. I'm sure being shown a good time would help, but it isn't necessarily as mercenary as it looks on the surface.
But if he is paying off her debts, funding mysterious medical treatment, buying property or getting himself involved in marvellous "investments" then it begins to smell more like a scam.
In reading some later comments that your dad has dementia/ALZ, then if your dad was diagnosed with it before he revised/revoked your PoA (and it is in his medical records) you may have a case but it is your burden to provide the proof of abuse/crime. I would consult with an attorney that specializes in elder financial abuse.
Does Dad have dementia? If he does it is time for finances with the POA to be taken over under the language of the document. Most POA are assigned when the person is well, but you can act in his best interests when dementia hits later. Then you would give Dad a small spending allowance and you would take over all bill paying and asset collection,keeping meticulous records. Now if Dad DOESN'T have dementia, then you have utterly no say in any of this, as it is his choice. I would simply sit him down in private and tell him that you worry that someone this much younger than him has more interest in his money than in anything else; that you could be right and you could be wrong. BUT that his giving money to this person means there will be no money left for his care should he need it, and it is money you cannot and will not replace, so he may be left destitute in his time of need when this much younger woman will move on with a life. That basically is the truth. So the way to proceed depends upon your father's mental capacity at this time. The POA doesn't give you the right to act in his interest if he is still capable of making his own decisions, even if they are bad decisions.
No matter what you meant by "refiled", if your father was diagnosed with dementia/Alzheimer's, I'd notify Social Services (agency for elder protection) or the police and make a report that the GF may be taking financial advantage of your father.
Some states have laws placing such people in a protected class to prevent them from being taken advantage of. Let the pros check the situation.
If Dad has Dementia, he can't revolk a POA. Your POA allows you to take over once Dad is not competent to make his own decisions. Some financial institutions may ask that a POA be updated if drawn up years before. To do this, you go to the lawyer who drew it up or just another lawyer. He may need to say that the POA is now enforced since person cannot make informed decisions.
You could call APS and ask them to evaluate the situation.
Is she cleaning him out or is he spoiling a woman friend?
77 isn't terribly old and he can spend his money as he pleases until a court of law declares him incompetent. It is after all his money. You can decide what you will do to help pick up the pieces after she leaves, but you can also decide that he made choices and he can deal with the consequences. You can't usually change others but you can decide what you will be doing or not.
If you really believe that she is exploiting him then you need to call the police. Financial exploitation of a vulnerable senior is a criminal offense and they will check it out. Make sure that you have proof that she is doing this or it will go no where.
Maybe she means refiled as in girlfriend has POA instead of daughter. The girlfriend is cleaning him out because he gave her POA. Call an elder lawyer. It’s his girlfriend not his wife. A much younger girlfriend who is probably only interested in his money!!! Contact an elder lawyer before she wipes his finances out completely!!! She is not in his best interest!!! Alvadeer is absolutely right!!! If your father is competent and made this decision of his own free will then there is nothing you can do about it. I would still talk to your father if her is competent. Tell him you are worried his girlfriend is after his money. She is 33 years younger than him. She is only after one thing. His money. Remember, this is not his wife. It’s a girlfriend.
Well, profile states that Dad has alzheimer's / dementia. What we don't know is how advanced or is his condition in the beginning stages in which Dad knows what he is doing?
We also don't know the truth about the relationship between Dad and his girlfriend. Maybe it's a healthy relationship where Dad is very happy and daughter is just looking to get his money instead of the girlfriend or vice versa.
So many unknowns and/or variables that I really can't give sage advice unless I knew more about this situation or I would be playing the guessing game in which I do not like doing. I prefer the facts.
Refiled means to file again. From the wording of the OP it sounds like daughter was POA and then refiled to girlfriend as POA. I think the op needs to come back to clarify if this is what she means so we don’t have to guess. It sounds like daughter was checking on dads finance just to find out she wasn’t POA anymore, the girlfriend has POA. Please come back to clarify OP.
Dads doctor wrote a letter stating POA should be used for financial planning. I did that and started looking into his finances. When the GF found out he had my dad do a revocation. I filed the DPOA and melodically directives with the county auditor.
the revocation has not been served to me or filed with the county. Yet the dr office will no longer talk to me.
i have his bank and credit card statements the the GF has exploited $100 k so far in 18 months. This is the person who has access to his medical now with verbal authorization per my dad. Second she has verbal authorization for his credit cards and bank account too.
Bank account paying for all her utilities, mortgage and college tuition has only his military pension and social security benefits automatic deposited.
I now see what you are saying. You need to get the law on this right away if your father has dementia. You should file for guardianship if this is the case because if she has embezzled this much already she is on a roll. The police and Adult Protective should be brought into this. Gather all your documentation and you should see a lawyer to file for guardianship over your dad at once. This will be fought and it will be costly. His estate will pay for it when you win, and it is very unlikely you will not win, though he will fight it with the girlfriend, and they may conceivably win with a doctor saying he is able to manage his own finances. You are looking at a case where it is likely she will actually marry him. Call in Adult Protective Services as well to open a file, to interview your father. If they say he is well enough to appoint her, then you are done with it all, and it is very likely she will get all his money before he is left destitute. But if the law sides with them in this there is little you can do. Report this to the credit card companies. They may stick a hold on credit signed by her and by him both.
None of us have any idea what you are suggesting happened to his POA. Were you the POA? Are you no longer the POA? Who IS the POA now. Does Dad have dementia of any kind. If someone changed the POA with a man who has dementia then you need a LAWYER NOW. Right away. Open a case with Adult Protective Service as well, if the POA is dabbled with and Dad has dementia. Also the bank should tell you, if you were previously doing the financial work, at which date all that changed. If this is a case where dementia is involved you need to get to work as in "yesterday".
I would contact an elder lawyer ASAP. It sounds like she is scamming him. Does your father have his mind? Is he competent? If not, she is scamming him. If your dad is competent, he is free to give his girlfriend ALL of his money. Everything hinges on your fathers frame of mind. Is he coherent? Is he competent? Can he make his own decisions? If not, she is scamming him and you need an elder lawyer ASAP!!!!
I agree with you Alvadeer. But we need to find out from the OP if her father has his mind. We need to find out if he is competent. If he is competent, he is free to give her ALL his money!!!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
How long has this lady been on the scene? And, seeing as you were prevented from "checking on finances," where do your concerns about her cleaning him out come from?
The thing is. If your father is wining and dining this person and having a high old time of it, and that's all, then I'm afraid... "there's no fool like an old fool." As long as he's in full possession of his mental faculties, you simply have to respect his right to do as he pleases with his own property.
I would add: I have met many gentlemen of 78 whose company I can imagine would be very enjoyable. 78 is not too old for the 45 year old girlfriend to like him for himself, you know. I'm sure being shown a good time would help, but it isn't necessarily as mercenary as it looks on the surface.
But if he is paying off her debts, funding mysterious medical treatment, buying property or getting himself involved in marvellous "investments" then it begins to smell more like a scam.
Has your father been on his own for long?
And I'm pretty sure it should be finances rather than fiancés?
Perhaps all will be revealed!
Some states have laws placing such people in a protected class to prevent them from being taken advantage of. Let the pros check the situation.
If Dad has Dementia, he can't revolk a POA. Your POA allows you to take over once Dad is not competent to make his own decisions. Some financial institutions may ask that a POA be updated if drawn up years before. To do this, you go to the lawyer who drew it up or just another lawyer. He may need to say that the POA is now enforced since person cannot make informed decisions.
You could call APS and ask them to evaluate the situation.
77 isn't terribly old and he can spend his money as he pleases until a court of law declares him incompetent. It is after all his money. You can decide what you will do to help pick up the pieces after she leaves, but you can also decide that he made choices and he can deal with the consequences. You can't usually change others but you can decide what you will be doing or not.
If you really believe that she is exploiting him then you need to call the police. Financial exploitation of a vulnerable senior is a criminal offense and they will check it out. Make sure that you have proof that she is doing this or it will go no where.
We also don't know the truth about the relationship between Dad and his girlfriend. Maybe it's a healthy relationship where Dad is very happy and daughter is just looking to get his money instead of the girlfriend or vice versa.
So many unknowns and/or variables that I really can't give sage advice unless I knew more about this situation or I would be playing the guessing game in which I do not like doing. I prefer the facts.
Hope you find your answers,
Jenna
the revocation has not been served to me or filed with the county. Yet the dr office will no longer talk to me.
i have his bank and credit card statements the the GF has exploited $100 k so far in 18 months. This is the person who has access to his medical now with verbal authorization per my dad. Second she has verbal authorization for his credit cards and bank account too.
Bank account paying for all her utilities, mortgage and college tuition has only his military pension and social security benefits automatic deposited.