My husband is 82 and was diagnosed with Medium Dementia about a year or so ago. He seems to be getting gradually worse, which was to be expected, but recently he is wanting to go to bed around 7 pm and he seems to be getting more and more confused in the evenings. How do you handle this....my patience are funning very thin. Thank you
Don't plan any excursions, visits, appointments, etc. later in the afternoon - make them in the morning so you can both return home and your DH can adjust without coming home in the evening.
Does he have any favorite tv programs that he could begin watching in the early evening?
Listening to music could help him relax; put on a CD of his favorite songs, or tune into one of the relaxing music channels on tv.
If he really is tired let him go to bed around 7 or whenever he feels like it. Perhaps it's his own subconscious way of putting himself self at ease if he senses that he's confused and can't handle it.
Keep visitors to a minimum in the afternoon as well - too much activity could aggravate the confusion.
Good luck.
Just FYI. I am a care taker as well as an R.N.; I am actively engaged in working.
I go to bed when I am tired. Sometimes it is at 7 P.M., sometime 8 P.M., rarely do I stay up past 9 P.M. Some of us have an internal clock that simply tells us when to sleep.
Sundowners Syndrome can be troubling. Seek attention from your husband's physician to see if any medications can be given. GOOD LUCK...
Other suggestions are to stay in sunnier rooms and turn on all the lights -- change bulbs to highest wattage lamps will allow and turn them all on. This will help keep him going. Play peppy music (better than TV which likely doesn't hold his interest).
Plan a walk or sitting out on the porch with a cup of tea, soda and some dessert at 7. You won't push him til 9 but might get an extra hour out of him.
I have just found out that playing the "oldies" on the TV channel calms him down during the day and seems to keep his spirits up. Hope it lasts! We even dance sometimes when he feels up to it.
So days he does better than others. I keep him hydrated, which was difficult until I got SoBe coconut water juices. He does better when he drinks these.
He has trouble hearing and wireless headphones work wonders (for me not to get blasted by TV volume) He will not read books, but does like Time, Forbes, People and National Geographic with lots of pictures of places he has been.
We also have a patio door that looks out on a pinwheel that spins when there is wind, flowers, hummingbirds, my cat...
I use full spectrum lights, 100 watts next to his chair, during the day. I have light blocking car windshield covers on his windows so he room is dark except for nightlights to the bathroom. We stop fuilds about 2 hours before bed at 9pm so he is up peeing less at night (prostate cancer). I also put antigas liquid (in the baby section) in his dinner drink to lessen the sense of pressure that might be getting him awake and to the bathroom. Even so, he goes hourly til about 3am? Maybe not sleeping well has your dad tired.
Very lucky, his nighttime activities did not start until almost 6 years after diagnosis. And only happened maybe 6 times so far. I quit work last year, so our schedules didn't really matter.... night, day, whatever.
If your loved one is to the point where you are so frustrated, you want to pull your hair out, they are out of "control", constantly standing at the door trying to escape, or yelling and screaming obsceneties at you, or just somewhere in between,then don't worry, your just like every other hard working care giver. Hang in there, join a support group, and pat yourself on the back. No one else will touch this job with a ten foot bed pan,
Sara, RN
I just saw your post and I apologize. I did not mean to include your case specifically. I definitely would use your situation as an example as one that I would use medication if I were at the point you were. Anyway, who am I?? Just very interested in opinions. I was wondering though...What you seem to describe does not sound like the typical "sundowning" scenario. I am not by any means an expert, but seeing people who aren't there and the extra added anxiety and fear may be that there is a paranoid issue going on beside the dementia or that the dementia is affecting that part of the brain. I'm sure your doctor would know. Some "sundowning" clients are known to be ornery, combative, confused, and stubborn. Some just have night terrors, or very bad night mares. When they become paranoid, fearful, delusional, or display some other psychiatric tendencies, it is usually, not due to the dementia, but secondary to it, or related to it. In very rare cases, some people have been hiding a personality disorder all of their lives, and no longer have the ability to control their behavior due to their lost memory, (they forget to act nice, or not paranoid). My Mom is starting to be very demanding. She will just say " ok, I'm ready for dinner", and " your not going to actually feed me that, are you? " Where are going today?" "Whats next on the agenda? Its never, hey, Sara, do you need a minute to pee?