Currently have a paid caregiver assisting a loved one. It was my belief when you pay a caregiver you provide instructions and directions about the care. Of late, it seems the caregiver wants everything done her way all the way down to the family pet. Sets hours to work rather than allowing the respite time for spouse to be requested as needed; charges even when not working---which sometimes is OKAY since it is an unexpected or planned event. Most bold move wrote in vacation pay for services which seemed a bit bold. Is this normal or should all time be scheduled through a contract or a type of agreement signed by both parties? Anyone with any thoughts on this topic? This is a new adventure for the family and relatives.
That's not how I do things. I'm there to make things easier for the family and to give excellent care to their family member. If Dad is used to being cleaned up and dressed in the bathroom as opposed to the bedroom then that's what we'll do. It's all about the patient's routine, making sure they're taken care of and establishing trust with the family. I learned skills in nursing school, basic ways of doing things, but that's not what's always best for a particular patient or the family. I have to be flexible and understand that everyone has their own ways of doing things. It might be my way to administer meds with thickened water but the patient may prefer to take their meds with pudding. Who am I to say, "That's not how you do it!"
Obviously I'm pro-agency. Going through an agency protects everyone and if someone isn't happy (me or the patient or the family) it can be worked out while avoiding an uncomfortable situation.
As the employer, create a handbook. It doesn't have to be fancy but it's a training manual on how you want things done. Create another document that includes what you expect from this person. Hours, what's the pay period, days off, that kind of thing. Who comes in if this person gets sick? Are you stuck without a caregiver in that situation? You're paying this person to care for your family member. You have certain expectations. Make sure she knows what these expectations are so there's no misunderstanding. If she's stepped out of line you need to get her back into line or find someone else who will take care of your loved one the way that works best for your family. She is an employee. How many employee's go to a job and start telling the boss how she's going to do things? She's not a guest in your home, she's on the job in your home. Make sure she's clear on what her duties are and aren't. If she can't conform to the way you do things get rid of her. Then go through an agency.
Fire the caregiver.... there are excellent caregivers that work with the families, take great care of your loved one.... and do not think they are in charge.... prayers for you to find someone you trust that will have their heart in the right place....
I agree with ladee with this one..we have found an angel with a halo for our dad's caretaker. She is a retired RN and VERY flexible. She gets upset with my mom sometimes because mom will make decisions she doesn't agree with but mom is the final say. We had a "bully" before and are very grateful for all our angel does for dad. She will call me if she thinks mom has made a decision that she has a problem with and I can usually "suggest" to my mom to do her angel's way. However, I have just as often explained to angel why my mom is so set in her decision and she has respected the final solution.
We were fortunate to find this private angel so soon but I know people that have been through many before finding just the right one. Best of luck
They can give suggestions, or make requests, but it sounds like she is giving orders and making demands. I would find someone else.
There should be a clause with care plan if caregiver gets sick or needs to be absent and who fills in short term or long term.
For gosh sakes, if its the same caregiver or they are live in, they too need a vacation and some holidays and in my mind they should be paid unless you are with an Agencyand this is built in to a monthly or hourly fee .
26 yrs ago I had an excellent babysitter for my child and had to agree to a 2 wk paid vacation and holidays, late fees, etc.
Whether its family or formal, if you are paying them, then it's considered employment and you should have the job responsibilities, compensation and benefits outlined.
If they don't meet them or not the right fit, then fire them, learn from the mistake and get everything in writing bat the next hire. Do an at rly review with the person as well letting them know the good things they've done and what needs improved, also, likely caregiving needs evolve meaning loved one might need more skilled or more demanding care needs. -- this should be acknowledged and expectations reset.
Just my opinion.
Perhaps you can sit down with a particular job description and explain that certain light house-keeping is part of the job. If she disagrees, or if you have let this go too long before correcting the terms, you may have to let her go with a nice referral letter. Bottom line, take charge:) xo