I have my Mother now living with me, with a huge medical bill from her recent surgery. Meanwhile, we’ve had to put her Husband (my step-father) into Assisted Living. He has 4 of his own adult children (ages 61-53). They want me to pay after the divide the remaining amount due to facility, so after they use SS $, divide by 4 which includes me. One of their siblings says she can’t help pay. I don’t feel obligated to help pay for my step-father’s expenses when now I have my Mom in my home, and have all her expenses to deal with. I am torn.
Dad's bills from LTC are HIS bills, not yours or his childrens'.
Start looking into what assistnace your mother qualifies for (start with the Patient Advocate office at her hospital) and pass this advice on to stepsisters and brothers.
Did this man raise you? Or did Mom marry after you were adults. If as an adult, I feel ur responsible for your Mom and his children for their father. If he and Mom do not have enough savings to pay the cost of an AL, then he needs to be placed in a NH.
No, you are not responsible to pay for SDs AL. There are other options. You have Mom. And her bill, as said, is not ur responsibility. Between Medicare and her suppliment, most of the bill should be paid. If there is a large deductible, a payment plan can be worked out. You need to wait, though, to see what gets paid, the supplimental statement will show the final balance. Some hospitals have a charity thing that may pay the balance if Mom can't. Do not pay this bill out of your own pocket.
But I do feel that you need to see a lawyer to protect Mom.
There is nothing to be torn about. You are pulling your weight and there is only so much you can pull.
I respect your willingness to help your mom financially, but her bills are not for you to pay. She's already in your home.
I took my Mom in 18 months ago after her stroke. Already feels like 10 years. I love my mom. It is draining. I made the mistake the first year of us supplementing her expenses while she serviced her credit card debt. Mom gave us a set monthly reimbursement/rent/living expense fee that I'd planned to save most of for her so we could pay for big ticket items or take her to the beach (her favorite place to be). But that savings hasn't accumulated. In addition, our personal finances became tight. When I did an annual accounting last January, it showed we were almost $6k in the hole for her expenses. We don't have it. Plus me paying for her expenses thru my name and her reimbursements I'm told will look like gifts to us when or if it ever comes to applying for Medicaid. So, it not only hurts us; it hurts her. I've since changed how we handle things. Please consult an attorney on what's best for you and your Mom and advise your step siblings to do the same - they can split THAT bill.
Regarding your Mom's hospital bill, I would file an appeal with the insurance company. I've had to do this multiple times and won. Seems like insurance denies everything off the bat. Appeal and keep pushing. Talk with the hospital patient advocate for the correct buzz words to use. Document the process with the insurance company. Many times, the hospital will handle the first appeal, but you are your Mom's strongest advocate and a stern call from you will aide the process. However, Mom's insurance may require the patient to file the appeal. You don't need an attorney for that process. You need knowledge of how the process works and the ability to persevere and give 'em hell about it!
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