"Disabled" sibling feels entitled to help. Any advice?
I have six siblings, one of whom has been receiving SSDI (and other government benefits such as housing assistance and Medicaid) for a number of years. She's a long term alcoholic and addict, but is actually a lot less disabled than many working people I know ( including another sibling who has truly been plagued with health problems all their life). She claimed seizures and memory lapses to get on SSDI, but she's pretty functional overall. She is really just a freeloader, someone who has never wanted to work at a real job. She's been in and out of jail and rehab, but claims to be sober for several years now.
Naturally she's had lots of money problems, as SSDI doesn't pay very well, (especially if you're buying street drugs with the money). She feels that other family members are obligated to help her (including bailing her out of jail, paying for her car repairs, etc.) since the rest of us all work or are retired with employer pensions. Now she's lost her front teeth and needs several thousand dollars for a new bridge. She emailed me and two other siblings asking for a "loan", and was infuriated when we each said we don't have that kind of money to lend out. (Especially to her, because I can't imagine how she would ever repay it given how little income she receives.) Now she's furious and nasty, demanding to know why she's being treated so shabbily and how the rest of us would like going around without front teeth. I sympathize with her really, but I don't feel obligated to help her (although I did help her in the past before I was retired). I have told her a million times to GET A JOB and she was never willing to consider it. I think being toothless (or carless, or homeless) is just the price you pay for making those choices, and it's nobody's job to bail her out of it, even her family's. Any thoughts?
Did Sis really lose her front teeth? My sig other ran into this problem with a step-son that lived out of state. He told the step-son that yes he will pay the dentist BUT he will pay the dentist directly.... step-son didn't like that idea, he wanted the money instead. Well that wasn't going to happen and sig other never heard another word about any teeth that needed to be fixed.
Many people don't realize that some dentists do take Medicaid. It just doesn't always cover the "nicer" kinds of plates and implants that some folks feel entitled to. Many individuals stay with dentist that they had before Medicaid and don't do the research. It takes effort, but it can be done. These dentists can also set up payment plans or loans. I agree, if she is only on SSDI, how would she ever pay you back?
Also schools of dentistry have lower cost programs for individuals that utilize students with instructor supervision. I have a friend who has had several procedures done that way who is too young for Medicare, intermittently self-employed and unable to work consistently yet who doesn't qualify as disabled. He says that the work is not high end cosmetic, but he can chew and no longer has obvious missing teeth. Take care and maintain those boundaries.