The elder does not wish to move to be closer to family but is becoming increasingly unable to care for herself. We are trying to convince her that assisted living near us would be ideal, but she is resistant to move. This requires multi-hour “emergency” trips on our part when she needs help.
Keep trying. That's about all you can do. You might encourage a visit to you, and some visits to places you have pre-examined. The lure of being near you and frequent visits may eventually help.
Sadly, you may need to stop showing up for emergencies. In an "emergency" you call ,911 and have the helpers assist her, transporting her to the ER if necessary. Call the hospital and tell them she lives alone and there is no one nearby to assist.
The social services folks at the hospital will do a better job of pointing out reality to her than folks who are "just" her relatives.
With my own mom, she called with "emergencies" 3 days running, causing me to have an to leave work, drive over an hour to tend to her.
On Day 3 I sat her down and said "Mom, I can't do this anymore ". She really had NO idea that what she was doing was an inconvenience. I said I would no longer be showing up. She moved, with great reluctance into AL the following week.
You call an ambulance and send it over there. Also, you don’t tell her you are calling one. You just send one over.
If no one is her PoA then contact APS and report her as a vulnerable adult. Or, if she requires a trip to the ER, tell the discharge nurse that she is an "unsafe discharge". This may be the opportunity to transition her directly to a facility near you.
I guess everyone with diabetes that chooses to live alone also has dementia? How about everyone with asthma? Or mobility issues?
As long as I can drag myself to the toliet and the fridge - with a walker or a wheelchair- I will live in my own home, most likely alone, so I MUST have dementia too!