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My 89 year old mom, who lives with me, has a hard time getting up steps. She is on one floor at my house, but Thanksgiving is coming up and my daughter is having it at her house. She has a whole flight of steps going into the house. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to get her up the steps?

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My take: I would want TG to be as stress free and simple for my family as possible--even if that meant I couldn't be a full participant. My husband (soon to be 94) and I (86) aren't as mobile as we once were. We get around our single-level home O.K., but he doesn't do stairs, and they've gotten harder for me this year. It is what it is. We don't plan to go anywhere for TG--or Xmas or New Year's Eve.

I'd consider letting the family know that I'll be staying at home this year. I wouldn't expect or want anyone to risk their own back (or a fall) to lift or carry me. If the family residences are reasonably nearby, I'd add that I'd welcome anyone who would like to drop by to say hello before or after dinner. I'd REALLY appreciate a plateful of TG goodies, too!
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SnoopyLove Oct 2023
Love this! Very sensible and considerate of others.
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I too think TG should be held at ur home. Who thought that daughters house would work?
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Mom2many Oct 2023
It has been at my daughters for years because her house is bigger and more open. We still do a sit down dinner and my house doesn’t have the space for that.
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The main floor of my sister's house is also up a flight of stairs but there is access in the back of the house with fewer steps. If that's not a possibility then many decades ago when my grandfather was in this position two of his burly grandsons sat him on a chair and carried it up.
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Mom2many Oct 2023
Yes, I thought about that, I just wasn’t sure how safe that was, but that may be what we do.
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Getting her up in one thing. Getting her down is another. Sounds like grandma isn’t going to the family Thanksgiving.
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Tthe one Thnaksgiving we were at my nephews, who had 13 stairs! going up to his 'great room'..the men simply 'fireman' carried mom up the stairs. They made a 'chair' with their arms and took her up. She LOVED the attention. And we loved that she could get up there without worry.
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Mom2many,

Have you asked Mom how she would feel about being carried up the stairs ?

We used the wheelchair to get my father in law in my house a few times. It was only up one step to a large wide stoop and then up over the door sill. Father in law hated it . It scared him especially leaving and going back down . He felt like he was falling . We don’t do it anymore .
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Southernwaver Oct 2023
Excellent point. Injuries worry me, both possible for her mom and anyone carrying mom. Depends on if mom wants to be carried up and down and also how frail she might be.

It’s very easy to snap some ribs in some senior women.
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Either you carry her up, or she just doesn't go up the stairs. Quite frankly, you will find it much easier to just have Thanksgiving at your house.

When my mom was still living at her house I know that she had not gone down into her own basement in years because she could no longer do stairs.
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Mom2many Oct 2023
It has been at my daughters house for years because her house is bigger and more open. I don’t have the space for a big family dinner. She lives 2 minutes away, so it isn’t a far drive for my mom.
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Call your moms doctor for physical therapy, a bone scan and a stress test tomorrow. Not that it will have her bouncing up the steps but should make you a better informed caregiver on her capabilities and the exercise will do her heart and lungs good.

A flight of stairs sounds like at least a dozen steps. When was the last time she attempted stairs? Was this last year at the same location? How did she do then? Has her mobility, her weight, her desire to attend shifted since then?

A chair plus the weight of 100 lbs is quiet a different ask than a 175 pounds. So there is that.

Reading online it is advised that a gait belt be used, that going up, lead with the strong foot and use a cane, coming down start with the weak foot.

Any relative that is asked to assist should be consulted well ahead of time and be physically approved to do this themself. With your osteoporosis I hope you aren’t her helper.

As an EMT volunteer you probably know the availability of firemen. What goes up, must come down and a thanksgiving dinner is not an emergency.

Sorry to be such a nervous Nellie.

Do let us know how it works out as we learn from one another.
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waytomisery Oct 2023
I wouldn’t do the stress test at 89 with mobility problems
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Its not fair that she be left out. There is a solution. I think telling her she needs to do the exercises may help. The wheelchair, not a good idea. Those things are heavy. Unless u can find a transporter that is made out of a lightweight material. Can you borrow one of those chairs the EMTs use?

I did have two young men carry a 250# man/boy down a flight of cellar steps so he could enjoy a Christmas party. The steps were open ones. One of those two young men was my DH. He was in his early 30s. He and a cousin thought it was a good idea. The man/boy had Prader Willi Snydrome. Was challenged in many ways. Told my DH, never again.😊He would have done it again. For him, there is always a way. What made me mad was Aunt expected this. No concern for her son and my DH.
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Mom2many Oct 2023
Thank you for saying she shouldn’t be left out. Some have responded that she just shouldn’t go. I don’t know how many years my mom has left, and I will do anything to make this work for her.
I do have a transport chair, so that may work.
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What I would do is My Dad would wear a Leather belt and I would get behind him and Lift him up while he took a step and held Onto the railing . Use the belt to help you lift them up its extra strength and Balance .
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