So now in years 26 of taking care of aging parent/parents. Mom is now in stage 7a imo of dementia. High pitched shrieking, looking at her food, able to walk a few feet, thats about it. Its constant problems, how do we solve them - i was done several years ago. When does God take pity on the caregivers? How much longer can this go on?
Sure there are times when I can't take it anymore. When there's so much going on that it's too much. But most of the time I'm in a rhythm. You have to decide for yourself if you can't handle it anymore. If you can't, it's time to make arrangements. As a step towards that, in her condition, she can get on home hospice. That comes with 5 days of respite care for you every period. So for 5 days medicare will pay for your mom to be in a facility to be cared for. To give you a respite, a vacation, from it all. That gives you both a trial run into nursing homes.
If it’s you , place Mom.
If your sister is POA and won’t place Mom or hire help , that’s her problem. But either way your sister can not force you to keep doing this.
does mom have the money to hire caregivers that will help you? I can tell you just a few days a week, 5,6, 7 hours each time is like having a vacation!
Have you checked your local Senior Service Center to see if there are programs that she or you may qualify for that can help with her care.
Is there an Adult Day program that she can attend? Usually they pick up participants in the morning and return them in the late afternoon. A breakfast, lunch and snack are provided. This gives you both a break.
I will say that at anytime mom is taken to the hospital you should tell a Social worker or a member of the medical team that you can no longer SAFELY care for her at home.
Safety is not just her safety but yours.
Safety is not just physical safety but emotional, mental safety.
is over soon. That’s what I wish for my father who has dementia also. It can’t end soon enough.
I hope you can have your freedom and start enjoying your life. You deserve it. Best of luck,
Depends on how you look at this. If it were me, I'd look at the situation as God telling me to leave the caregiving nightmare now and save the body and mind He gave you.
Time for mom to go into a facility and dad too if he's still alive, so you can get back to just being their loving daughter and not their burned out, overwhelmed and exhausted caregiver.
And if money is an issue, you can apply for Medicaid for your parents.
I wish you well in finally making yourself a priority and stopping the nonsense of this caregiving that will kill you before it does your mom.
Please visit some and begin planning for mom to move into one. She’s way beyond your ability to care for her properly. Plus you need to get your own life! You matter too.