Karoisme Asked July 2012
How to get Mother-in-law to drink something besides Diet Coke?
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My mother-in-law is 75 years old and will only drink Diet Coke. No water, no tea, no juice, no milk. She will tell you, almost bragging, that she hasn't had milk in 50 years. She suffers from stenosis of the spine, has weak pelvic/hip muscles and can't stand upright. She is also incontenent. The medication she takes requires she drink plenty of water when she takes them, and throughout the day. Her urine is so concentrated, the smell is overwhelming. I have offered to make her hot tea, bring her glass of sweet tea, orange or apple juice, etc. She ONLY wants Diet Coke. Would it be terrible of me to just quit buying it? She refuses to discuss it!
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Let's say you could get her to drink some milk. What would change? Would that cure her stenosis of the spine? Would she no longer be incontinent? How about if she had hot tea for breakfast each day? She'd probably pee a little more often in the morning. What else would change? If she had apple juice in the afternoon, would her hip muscles be stronger?
I agree that what you are suggesting -- more nutritous ways of increasing her fluid intake -- would be an improvement. But is the degree of improvement worth the cost of resistence and animosity it would engender?
If you stopped buying the Coke, what would that do to your relationship? What measurable improvements could you expect in her health?
Poor MIL has enough things she cannot control in her life. She can't stand up straight. She can't control her bowels and bladder. She can't get to the store and buy the products she prefers. I'd go very gently and cautiously on the you-can't-have-what-you-want-to-drink campaign. If you feel it is worth the effort, perhaps you could focus on one small change, such as taking her pills with a large glass of water instead of with Coke.
We caregivers have to pick our battles. I don't think Diet Coke is something I'd gird up my loins for, but you need to decide what makes sense in your situation.
Good luck!
If the artificial sweetener is the problem, I'd surmise that at this point it's not going to cause much difference in her life span. Some people just dislike milk. I don't think I've had a glassful since I was about ten, which would make it 53 years without for me. You might encourage cheese, or even ice cream if you're worried about calcium.
My 87 year-old mother likes Strawberry Crush and the nurses always advise her to give it up and drink water instead. She really only drinks about half a glass of Crush a day, so we both politely ignore them. :)
Something I do with my mother, who only wanted tea, was to start buying bottled water. Tea and coffee are diuretics, so I didn't want her to drink tea in place of water. She likes the bottled water. Sometimes if we run out I just fill the bottles with tap water. She doesn't know the difference. It's bottled, so it's special.
The carbonation that you can get with a Soda Stream isn't anywhere near that of canned carbonated beverages. I'm donating mine to my local charity resale shop. The quest continues.
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