My husband lost his drivers license on medical advice from 2 doctors. He blames it on me. We have contacted several lawyers but of course to no good. He certainly should not drive but he is really angry with me claiming it’s my fault. Everything is my fault. Help!!!!
It's such a tough situation!
You know it's not your fault, however, in your husband's demented mind it is.
Keep in mind that he no longer lives on the same planet that you do. You can't reason with dementia!
It sounds like counseling might be in order.
Stay strong! His loss of driving privileges is a good thing.
Do you still have his car? If so, sell it. See if someone will allow you to store it at their house till it sells. Out of sight out of mind. If relatively new, maybe a car dealer will buy it. Take his license and his keys and hide them. Don't throw out. This is his identification. When you renew his card, you can change it over to an ID only.
Make sure your keys are never where he can get them.
The states need to make laws concerning those people suffering from Dementia which for now are not in place. It's not fair that family members have the burden of worrying about it and trying to take the keys away. In my opinion, they should be taken away as soon as a Dr. makes the diagnosis. It should be mandatory that the Dr. report his findings to the DMV. The only problem is, the DMV takes 2 or 3 months to get around to sending a letter. My Uncle was driving in an area he went to all the time. He couldn't find his way back. This was in another state.
Reading between your lines, it sounds as though he has lost judgement about other matters in your life together (Everything is my fault).
Be sure you are safe!
I guess you have to try to let his anger and blame just roll off your back. Have a vague response that is not argumentative (not implying that you aren't doing that, just a suggestion in case you aren't already doing it). You know, the doctors know, that he can not be driving. OK, case closed on that one. Now you just have to manage how you react to his response.
How many years have you been taking care of him? If you're suffering from any amount of burn out, which I bet you are, please get yourself some time off. Get out for lunch, for a walk, a movie, game day with friends or family, something for YOU.
Caretakers need to take care of themselves too.
Best of luck.