I'm durable POA for my 88 yr old Aunt.
Here's more information about my Aunt,
(She's 88 with signs of dementia. She don't take pills for dementia.I don't know if she was ever diagnosed with dementia but, I do know she shows all the signs for dementia. With that said, She's legally compatent to do what she desires. Until told otherwise by her doctor.)
My Aunt has problem with just about everything as lifes tasks as listed below,
(1) Problems making it to the bathroom.
(2)Remembering/forgetting, Long term and short term.
(3)Driving her car is a death sentance ready to happen.
(4)Notice the caps here? REFUSES TO SPEND ANY MONEY .
The number (4) above is my main problem with my Aunt. She refuses to spend a dime for her needs to keep living in her own home alone. Her desire is to live in her own home alone until she dies. That's what she wants. I must try to follow her wishes. But that is becoming the main problem.
I am her durable POA and her caregiver. I'm learning that this DPOA I have seems to be worthless/pointless.
Why I say that is this,
My Aunt needs many things in order for her to stay living in her home alone.
As a medical alert system like life alert, Bed pans,Toilet chair, New bed sheets, New under clothing and a wheeled chair ramp installed outside to her home. I explained these things to her that she needs to buy in order for her to stay living in her home. She has the money to buy these things but, refuses.
She doesn't own a bed pan or a tolet chair. She walks with a walker at times very scarry from what I see. She don't make it to the bathroom in time. She uses those larger plastic coffee containers to Urine in. Her home smells of Urine. After I come home from visiting her I smell of Urine from seating in her chairs.
Moreless, something needs to be done or will have no choice but to stop helping her. How can I help her if she's not willing to help her self? I don't have the money to buy these things for her. I don't get paid a dime for being her caregiver. In fact, I'm losing money of my own doing so. I spend over $160 a month just on gas to go to her home. Not including runnings for her as shopping for her, doctor's appointments and other. I'm done spending my own money. I can't do this no more. She has money but,not willing to spend a dime. Asking for gas money from her is like getting a tooth pulled. Be lucky if you get $5 bucks. For what all I do for her I feel I shouldn't have to ask for gas money. Out of repect she should give without me having to ask.
I'm on my last straw. I can't do this no more if she's not willing to spend her money.
I'm sure some of you are thinking (she don't have to spend her money if she doesn't want to) Well, if that's the case? Then, this DPOA I have is worthless/Pointless. I'm also, her caregiver without getting paid for my services as a caregiver. From my Aunt's actions of not welling to spend a dime on her own needs. Makes me look like a bad caregiver. My Aunt fell 3 time in the past week in her home alone. As her DPOA and Caregiver I can't take anymore chances of her falling again.
What can I do? She doesn't want us to move in to help her. She doesn't want to leave her home.
What to do?
Here's my questions,
As I'm Durable POA. Can I spend her money without her permission? As example, Can I use her bank card to charge a Bed Pan and Tolet chair?
As I'm her Duable POA. Can my Aunt hire me as her full time caregiver?
As I'm her Duable POA. Can I use her funds to hire a health care/financial planner to help me as her POA?
My Aunt isn't willing to spend a dime. As I'm her durable POA.Can I override her spending decisions? Or do I must have her permission at all times?
If the answers are, no you can't override her permission because,she's compatent. Then, I'm screwed as her caregiver and DPOA. Seems this DPOA is just getting in the way from me getting paid for my services as her caregiver. I hear some say Your Aunt can't hire you as her caregiver because, your her DPOA. But, I hear all the time. Daughters or Sons are POA and caregiver to their Mother of Father and charging their parents for their caregiver services. I hear some are even joint on their parents bank accounts. I was told your not allowed be joint if your POA.I don't know what the truth is about these POAs anymore.
Should I just have my DPOA removed so I can be paid for my services? Do I need to go that far?Or does someone know a trick I don't know about?
Can anyone give me advice? I need advice?
Thanks!
Best,
Enjoy your day
Best Wishes!