She is depressed and wants to take care of my child. She does wonderful projects with him, but seems to have no patience.
She also is very negative about EVERYTHING, and I'm not exaggerating. She seems to find the negative in all my friends, her neighbors, the world and so much more. Some things I know are natural for the older generation to not like what is happening in the world around them but it consumes her thoughts and I am afraid that it will affect my son.
I really would like her to see a counselor she could trust but we can't afford one. Please help me.
Call your state's disability helpline and explain that your mother needs some counseling, and see what resources they suggest.
A complete medical examin would be useful, too.
How old is your son? If it were me, I would limit the amount of contact he has with Grandma for the time being. (Not eliminate it, just cut back.) The older he is and the more able he is to understand (and keep private) explanations about GM's "illness" the less I'd worry about amount of contact. But, really, all that talk about nothing being right with the world can't be healthy for very young children, can it?
You are right about the difficulty of locating providers who accept Medicare or Medicaid. They do exist, though!
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Mom, our son, and numerous others I have helped, were NOT informed that they oculd access Welfare services. We had to , in each case, go to teh Welfare Dept., and ask for help for them...particularly the part about accessing the Federal Program that pays for their Medicare fees, and to get them Medicaide assistance.
[CA and WA].
We even experienced some obstruction to accessing help via Welfare, until they clearly understood why we were seeking it.
Nope, not automatic link to that.
Most are limited visits per year--like 10 or so visits per year.
But even that is better than nothing.
ALSO, seek Support Groups that are specific to your needs--yours and Mom's. Often, Support Groups are free, depending on who is sponsoring.
Your Mom does not sound like she would cooporate with any of that.
YOU get it for yourself!
It really helps build inner strength, which ANYone who is doing in-home caretaking needs lots of!
-kids absolutely pick up on the negative stuff; it can warp their minds and sensibilities for the rest of their lives, depending on how old he is at time of exposure.
M, have you ever expressed to your mother that you would like your son to have an optimistic outlook on life, and that you are concerned that her continuously expressing pessimism in front of him will discourage him before he 'gets out of the gate'? Although her depression is both habit and state of mind, love of a child is a powerful motivator, and she may be able to change her habits for periods of time (such as in your son's presence) if she is motivated to do so, and you directly make a request THAT SHE FINDS REASONABLE. That last piece is key, for if she is not motivated to do so, she will not. I'd try to catch her at a time when she is already in a (relatively) good and receptive mood, and make the request from the perspective of the shared goal of mutual love of your son. If, and only if, you think that will work with her. Good luck...
Mthorn, I would limit some of that son & grandma time too for he could pick up some bad manners even though grandma might not recognize what she is saying. Or you could try n have a talk with her.
You might also can check if their is an 'Area Agency On Aging' in your area where they might can help n offer list of free support groups n counciling or for a low fee.