I am always being blamed for doing something to the phone when my mother's best friend sometimes can't reach her. The woman is most likely misdialing the number and that is why she is not getting through. No one else who calls here has a problem when they call, only her. Then when she speaks to my mother, she'll say, I tried to call you twice and I get a message. Note, we do not have voice mail set up and we do have caller ID. There is never a record of her call when she comes with this complaint. Anyhow, when this happens, and it is so often it is maddening. I am interrogated by the both of them, like I owe them an explanation why she can't get through when she calls. She'll say to my mother "I'm not making it up.” The woman causes arguments and frustration and it's like a feeling of being bullied. Also, on occasion, this friend will sometimes mistakenly call early at the crack of dawn and say, oh, I am so sorry I meant to call my niece.
I’d suggest that you say that Friend is the one with the dodgy phone and/or problems dialing. Is one a landline and the other a mobile?
Then leave the room .
You could ask the friend to call your mom right back so you can “test the phone”, then hang up without reminding her of your mom’s number.
You and your mom can sit there and wait together for the friend to call back. When (if) she does, you can keep the phone on speaker and say “Yay! Looks like the phone is working! You two have a nice chat now!” Repeat daily for a week or two, if necessary, preferably at about4:30 a.m. 😉
Just like they are doing, they are making you feel unstable enough to need help, on honestly a silly argument. Not that your silly to be annoyed at all. But they are getting exactly what they want you second guessing yourself.
Don't play into the games, ignore them, let it go. It will make them board and maybe try a new game.
Best of luck, welcome to the forum, I don't think I've seen your name.
Next, talk to her family because she probably has dementia and needs some supervision now. If you want the crack of dawn calls to stop, turn the ringer off on the phone before you go to bed.
It is also possible that neither of them have dementia and just enjoy tormenting you and being trouble-makers. I've known many, many seniors without dementia whose only joy in life was making other people's lives miserable and tormenting their adult children.
If such is the case with your mother and her friend, you could try another approach. Stay up really late tonight and call the friend's house at say 3am and let it ring until she answers. When she does, tell her:
'Oh, sorry I was trying to call my friend in Yorkshire. They're six hours ahead of us in England. Your phone number and hers are just so similar'.
Do this a few times and she'll stop trouble-making with the calls.