My grandmother came home six days ago from SNF after having a stroke due to afib. She is NOT the woman she was the morning of the stroke. She is at times beligirant, paranoid, and does very odd things. Tonight she picked up a medication bottle and tried to use it as a deodorant stick. She is very confused about her finances and claims she had credit cards she never had, etc. She spends a lot of time looking through her wallet and sleeps about 20 hours a day. I have POA only if two physicians certify she is incapable of making her own medical and financial decisions. They both agree she can't make medical decisions, yet one says she should be able to handle her own finances. She performed well in his office. With all due respect to him, he saw her for thirty minutes and I've known her my entire life. She is progressively different for the worse.
Both my MIL and my mother would never listen to what they were supposed to do with respect to canes, walkers, etc. They were more concerned with "how it looked" never mind making them walk with marked improvement.They both wouldn't listen to anybody and paid the consequences of falling multiple times, hospitalizations that could have been avoided, etc.
There really isn't any changing them when they are in this mindframe. But I would constantly remind my MIL who was living with us at the time, that if she falls by walking alone - she could end up bedridden. For some reason, this connected with her as she did not want to have any more falls.
Maybe just tell her that a nursing home might be the place for her since she refuses to use the equipment provided to her to keep her safe. Maybe that will make her think about how she is behaving (reckless) actually and putting herself at risk. Other than that, I'm at a loss. Good luck and take care.
Carol