My dad is 81 and recently got diagnosed with chf and ckd(stage 3)..also a diabetic. He got sent home on hospice. I’m planning on taking him to see an internist for second opinion. The only problem is he seems to have one problem after another. When one heals up another pain pops up making it difficult to take him around. His moral is low when that happens, he just wanna died. Is that a sign that death is not very far away when their body just keep having one symptoms after another? I don’t know what to do or what to expect.
I don't know how you'll take this, but my mother lived for twenty years after her first crisis presentation with congestive heart failure. The kidney disease, too, can rub along at that level for a long time.
BUT your father can't have been admitted to a hospice programme for no reason: there must be more to it. Perhaps the best thing to do would be to ask his primary physician for a clear explanation of how he's doing and what you should expect. They almost never give timelines as such, but they should be able to help you understand better where's he at.
By the way. Another useful figure to look at is your father's Ejection Fraction. This will tell you how well his heart is working - 55%+ is normal for a healthy adult; but again my mother ploughed on below 20% for longer than seemed possible or fair.
The trouble with both CHF and CKD is that they make you feel *awful.* Knackered and ill. So I'm not surprised your poor father's morale is low. Once you've talked through his symptoms with a doctor who's prepared to take a little time over it - and maybe a specialist nurse, too? - you'll have better strategies to cheer him and, crucially, not to let his symptoms get YOU down.
Hugs, hope this helps.
Dragging him out for more consultations will not improve his situation.
If you can provide the care the best thing to do is keep him home and as comfortable as possible with the help of Hospice. There are comfort drugs that can be given which may make him quite sleepy before he eventually slips into unconsciousness and passes. Many Drs don't like to admit that one of their patients is going to pass away so you have to press for the truth and not be put off by vague comments. . It is only fair to be given a positive timeline even it is only a guesstimate. Your Hospice nurse is very experienced and will be able to "Read" your Dad better than most.
Be sure you understand your fathers final wishes and what arrangements he wants you to make for funeral, buriel etc. Talk to Dad about anything that is bothering you or him and arrange for him to be visited by people he wants to see. The Hospice social worker and minister will help you with these things.
This is a very difficult time for everyone concerned so let him do anything he wants within reason. Now is not the time to do things that are healthy and "good " for him. If he is on Insulinn be careful about giving it if his blood sugar is low anticipating that he will eat. He will eventually stop eating. Remember to take care of yourself and get some rest. Don't worry about being present when he dies. many patients will wait till there is no one with them before they pass. Take care. Blessings.
We recently began hospice care for my father in law. It started with a fall resulting in a broken hip while in the hospital for a psych evaluation and it’s been downhill ever since then with one issue after another.
What I do know is hospice is not suggested unless the consensus is there is nothing left to do or try to heal what ails an individual.
In our case, the decline happened so rapidly, our family is in a state of disbelief.
I can’t speak specifically to your father’s situation but I can tell you Countrymouse always gives great advice!
An elderly person with one illness after another is in decline. That he was sent home on hospice usually means that the prognosis is 6 months or less although there are stories about people living past the 6 months. These are exceptions.
I agree that having your dad go for a second opinion would be very difficult on him and on you. In addition, may hospices will discontinue service if the patient seeks medical care, goes to the ER, etc. If you're going to do it please check with your hospice provider first.
There comes a time when all we can do is maintain our loved one's dignity and ensure they're at peace.