I'm wondering if anyone has had any experience with the drug Ketamine as an alternative/booster to the usual meds for depression and anxiety.
I have suffered from both, for many years. Too many. I would just like to sleep at night without nightmares and wake up not feeling like garbage and having to climb my way back up to feeling 'normal'.
I've been on antidepressants and benzos for 25 years, give or take. I am MUCH better than when I first blew my head gaskets....(that's what my kids called it). A very short stay in a psych unit determined I was simply burned out on life. Deeper therapy brought back the horrible memories of being severely abused by my OB. I thought I was crazier for a while...then others came forward with the same stories. Vindication--to a degree.
It's been so hard and I am SO tired of being depressed and anxious and tired. I just got back from my psych check up, I asked my psych doc about Ketamine and he was very supportive of it. It's not w/o risks--and he wants me to do the 'nasal spray' kind--the infusion is seriously expensive and is not covered by insurance.
2 good friends have been doing this and both say it's a game changer.
I have to give this a lot of thought and I'll admit, I'm scared, but not more scared than when I was having daily panic attacks and suicidal thoughts.
I'm at peace with the abuse, but it left it's mark. My OB is dead, so no closure there. My mom thinks I am a drama queen and am trying to ruin the family. She denies it all (while having the therapist who worked with both YB and YS over this supporting their claims).
I'm just so doggoned sick of being depressed and worried at the same time. I can 'fake it' really well, but inside, man, some days I would like to crawl in bed and sleep for a month.
I know this is not something that they routinely give the elderly, as it can 'mimic' dementia (very unusual s/a, but still, he had to mention it).
Have you discussed this with your home teacher? She may be able to pull together some activities in which you can participate, and interact with other women.
Does your ward have annual donation events? My father's ward did, until it was abused by non LDS people who collected goods (especially clothes), then sold them and kept the funds for themselves. The annual donation/giveaway was a major effort though, and a lot of women (and probably some men) worked together on it. Perhaps bonding more with the women in your ward might help.
Are you on the Ward's prayer list?
My father's local ward always had some project or another underway.
Sweet of you to remember my religious beliefs.
I kind of chuckled at your comment that I reach out and become MORE involved in the church welfare system---I am so involved it's kind of a joke that the first person that gets called when there's a 'need', I am the one who gets the call. S0...giving service is not the answer to my level of depression. My faith is what has helped me the MOST, the meds a distant second. Service is very, very important to me. I can't ask God for so many blessings w/o being willing to do as much as I can, despite the depression.
I know every single woman in my ward and am an honorary 'grandma' to many families who don't have gparents near. Again, the service the church provides is a great blessing. I spent a portion of yesterday helping a young mom as she was trying to prepare for a family party and she has 3 little ones under the age of 5. It's a great joy to me to be able to do this.
We do not have 'visiting teachers' any more. We are ALL called as ministers, with the idea and hope that we will find ourselves more involved in the community as a whole, not with the idea of converting someone to our faith, but simply by being good neighbors and stewards of our communities.
And we do have a woman whose 'calling' is literally the compassionate service leader--she, along with others find and meet needs in the COMMUNITY, not just in our little ward.
The Temples have prayer rolls and yes, my name and my kids' names are always on them. Now I can go BACK to the temple, I have enjoyed the incredible peace and love you feel there.
Just an FYI: When I was a child, we had 10 temples. I could name them all. IN the last 58 years we have built HUNDREDS of temples. I think we will have close to 265 by 2025. Not sure, since COVID has affected the building.
I don't know where you live, but my guess would be there is an LDS temple within driving distance of you. Even just being on the beautiful grounds is sweet and calming--and for 18 months of covid, that's all we could do.
Didn't mean to be preachy--b/c I'm not that kind of a person--I prefer that people look at me as a kind person and not slap a label on me that can be very negative. I love my faith and it has sustained me through some bad times.
Thank you for your kindness! And yes, we are always working on some project--seems like busted water mains this time of year is the 'favorite'.
I sure wish you luck in checking all this out. There must be research. You have been through so much. Were I you I would follow up and I would try this after you feel you have researched it sufficiently, and with the support of your psyc.
Wishing you the best. Very much for this. There is so little we know about our brains. We are on the edge only of learning.
I'm not doing the infusion kind, but the nasal spray, which, if you have a bad reaction to it, you just stop taking it. The infusion (besides costing between $4K-$8K is simply not financially feasible. AND my doc was not on board with that--he said infusions are a lot more time, money and the science says that the spray is as good.
I will look into more research. My DH is not on board, but I have to have someone here with me, at least until I know how I react. Actually, if DH thought it would help me not be so blue--he might agree to watch me.
What people are saying is that they were glad to have a companion or a sitter at least for the first experience. Do you have an SO or a kid who could stay the night with you when you go on the medication? If not, perhaps an overnight hospital stay?