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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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The board has warned him for years and has now filed suit against him. The board says he refuses to clean, but he simply is unable to understand what cleanliness means.
Get him out of there fora few days. Hire a cleaning company to do the cleaning. It will also require a family member to do the sorting and tossing. I was only able to sort and toss when mom was not there.
Purchase a couple of "bunny suits". And a respirator.
Deep messes that have attracted attention for years are going to be seriously bad as you reach the bottom.....even the air quality is probably bad for your health!
Make sure the HOA is fully aware of the plan...they will need to approve the dumpster to sit while it is filled.
It sounds like something is not right with him. Does he have a diagnosis?
I might use this as an opportunity to find a more suitable place for him. I'd also seek legal counsel and explore the options.
This might be a good opportunity. If dad has no idea what having a sanitary condo is, then, I'd be concerned that he's not capable of living alone. Maybe, he needs therapy, counseling or perhaps supervised care. So, I'm not sure if putting a band aid on the matter would help long term.
Dear Sunnygirl, I would definitely say there's something wrong with him mentally, for many reasons, but the condo board even called family services on him a couple years ago and the case worker found him to be ok and closed the file. I don't have good relations with him and probably have to seek some sort of legal advice to protect family interests even from him, what type counsel or other avenue would you suggest?
Sandbarhopper1, It's often not possible for a social worker to speak with someone for a few minutes and determine what kind of issues they may have, if they have cognitive decline, depression, etc. I'd focus on getting him properly evaluated, which could be a challenge if he refuses. You might be able to use the pending legal action as leverage to get him properly evaluated. I'd try to find a geriatric primary doctor, as well as a neurologist who focuses on Alzheimers and dementia. A geriatric psychiatrist might also be a good option. The primary may be able to give you guidance, since your dad's inability to maintain his household is causing severe consequences.
I'm not sure if he has appointed a Durable POA or Healthcare POA, but, is he competent to do so now? If he's not, then I'd also ask the attorney about Guardianship. If someone is appointed Guardian, they can take over the decision making and deal with the legal matter that best protects dad, since he may not be capable of doing that now.
I'd ask the attorney what evidence you need, how the process works, etc. In some jurisdictions, a major factor in a competence proceeding is whether the person is able to properly operate their own household. It doesn't sound like he's able to do that.
Now that there is a lawsuit you need to respond. You need to get him an attorney preferably elder law or family law but because this has to do with real estate, a real estate attorney may be your best bet to slow things down against the board. Does he have money to pay for an attorney? Is he still with it enough for you to get him to sign a durable power of attorney?
I agree that you need to get him out of the apartment and hire a professional cleaning service this week and make plans this week. Do not communicate with the board directly because it's gone beyond that. You need to work through an attorney.
Thank you so much, all of you, for providing me some direction. He does have the ability to pay for things, he would probably willingly hire an attorney, but he's stubborn and arrogant and would never allow me to tell him he needs to see a doctor nor would he put me in charge of anything. The place is beyond cleaning and every single item needs to be thrown out, even a remodel is necessary because odor and bugs have been absorbed by every cabinet in the unit, old fridge doesn't even close, etc. Any thoughts on possibly having the social worker visit once again now that he's absolutely in danger of losing his home(condo paid in full), maybe she would have the ability to get him evaluated and provide a Guardian to secure his assets before he loses everything. I would so appreciate some more thoughts on this.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Deep messes that have attracted attention for years are going to be seriously bad as you reach the bottom.....even the air quality is probably bad for your health!
Make sure the HOA is fully aware of the plan...they will need to approve the dumpster to sit while it is filled.
I might use this as an opportunity to find a more suitable place for him. I'd also seek legal counsel and explore the options.
This might be a good opportunity. If dad has no idea what having a sanitary condo is, then, I'd be concerned that he's not capable of living alone. Maybe, he needs therapy, counseling or perhaps supervised care. So, I'm not sure if putting a band aid on the matter would help long term.
It's often not possible for a social worker to speak with someone for a few minutes and determine what kind of issues they may have, if they have cognitive decline, depression, etc. I'd focus on getting him properly evaluated, which could be a challenge if he refuses. You might be able to use the pending legal action as leverage to get him properly evaluated. I'd try to find a geriatric primary doctor, as well as a neurologist who focuses on Alzheimers and dementia. A geriatric psychiatrist might also be a good option. The primary may be able to give you guidance, since your dad's inability to maintain his household is causing severe consequences.
I'm not sure if he has appointed a Durable POA or Healthcare POA, but, is he competent to do so now? If he's not, then I'd also ask the attorney about Guardianship. If someone is appointed Guardian, they can take over the decision making and deal with the legal matter that best protects dad, since he may not be capable of doing that now.
I'd ask the attorney what evidence you need, how the process works, etc. In some jurisdictions, a major factor in a competence proceeding is whether the person is able to properly operate their own household. It doesn't sound like he's able to do that.
I agree that you need to get him out of the apartment and hire a professional cleaning service this week and make plans this week. Do not communicate with the board directly because it's gone beyond that. You need to work through an attorney.