My father in law is in memory care at a nursing facility located near us. Ever so often he calls demanding large amounts of money, example $1200. He refuses to say what it’s for and states it’s his money. My husband is the POA. The facility has asked us not to take him large amounts of cash but my husband feels guilty and doesn’t want to argue with him. My father in law only has enough in the bank to cover about 3 mos of care and eventually his cost for care will go up. Any suggestions on how to handle this situation?
That said, is the memory care Medicaid approved so that your FIL can stay there once his funds run out in 3 month's time?? Hopefully so, and hopefully your DH has the application process pending now. If not, contact an Elder Care attorney to get that ball rolling immediately!
Good luck!
If he's not able to do this, and can't be charged with passing false money, and if he is able to tell the difference, I'd give him Monopoly money. But I'd want to be very, very sure he isn't able to use it for any function that could get him in trouble for passing false money.
Your FIL has dementia, that means he can not make rational decisions for his health and financal wellbeing.
Bring him play money that you can get from the dollar store.
If he needs a bit of cash bring him a few singles. (5 - 10)
Bringing him money may encourage or lead to theft. No doubt the money will get lost if nothing else.
" It's against the rules for you to have any cash money here, dad. Not my rule. Nothing I can do about it".
And so forth. Don't feel guilty. You are protecting him from scams and the like. If he gets argumentative, you get up and leave saying nicely "I'll come back when you're feeling better, Dad".
You and your husband should NEVER have to submit to harsh words or verbal abuse, even if that has been the norm. It's unacceptable behavior.
Does he really want to pay or worse, have dad move in so he can take care of him until Medicaid kicks in?
Your husband should be encouraged to watch Teepa Snow videos on utube to learn what dementia is and how to deal with a parent that has dementia. The dynamics are completely reversed now and your husband is the authority not his dad. Very difficult situation to be in and he needs support to be able to say no to his dad.
Best of luck, this is so difficult.
No reason Dad needs $1200 in a MC unit. No where to spend it.
Have you figured out how ur going to pay when the money runs out. If you expect Medicaid to and you only have 3 mouths of money for FILs care better apply soon.