In 2015 I went to prison for 4 years. While there, my dad got custody of my son. When I was released I came to live with my son and dad. Shortly after coming home, he woke up & wasn't himself at all. I took him to the ER & their diagnosis was early onset dementia. He couldn't dress himself properly, forgot simple words, and he couldn't form simple phrases. He also had a UTI & was given antibiotics. Shortly after starting the meds he returned back to normal for the most part. He takes his meds on his own but sometimes takes too many or doesn't take them at all. He is now saying I stole them & is telling me I have to leave. He's in no way, shape, or form capable of raising a teenage boy & my son is at a time in his life where w/o constant supervision he may make stupid decisions. He recently got in a fight at school for the 1st time & last weekend was brought home by the police after sneaking out of the house (to which my father still has no clue). My dad does not keep an eye on him & my son has full reign to do as he pleases. My dad has more good days than bad for the time being, but the bad days are bad enough to outweigh the good. I don't know what steps I can take to make sure my son's watched & cared for. Please help!
If cps determines a minor needs to be removed, kin is normally preferred. They won’t turn down an ex con who can show theyve been violation free, employed, steady household and drug free. If you’re still on probation, in fact, volunteer to pee in a cup today to prove the med stealing a lie.
1) You need your own place to live, so that your son has the option to live with you.
2) Your son is your priority, not your father.
3) Most courts will go along with the preferences of an older child, let alone a teenager (this is why my older sister aged 12 didn’t get ordered to do the ‘access visits’ with our dreadful father). You need to find out what your son wants to do, whether he wants to stay with grandfather or live with you - soon, before bad behavior gets to be the norm. If he moves in with you, GF is most unlikely to be able to get him removed. It will be up to GF to try to enforce the custody order, and he’s most unlikely to be successful. (Of course this assumes that you are now ‘clean’) For you to challenge the custody order will be difficult, expensive and unnecessary, and quite possibly unsuccessful if you are all still living together.
4) Once you are living with your son, you can (if you want) report your father to APS.
Talk to your son, now! Good luck, Margaret
Your son may prefer to live with the grandfather as he may find that would prove to be a more lenient life for him. That would not be in the best interests of this situation.
I realize it is easy for people to say move out and get your own place. Of course that would be ideal but may prove difficult depending on where you live also giving what has transpired for you the last few years.
I hope you find a solution. I simply feel that what is absolutely imperative is the legal relationship you retain for you and your son. The grandparent can only spiral downwards if not now then in the future and once your son is of legal age he is free to do as he pleases. Hopefully he can be reached and a positive relationship can evolve.