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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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It happens for certain. Discuss this with your wife's doc, Wilforde. While that won't CHANGE anything, it will help to explain it. A CVA can hit certain primitive sections of the brain responsible for our emotions. They can change personalities. Some people who never would have dreamed of using a swear-word can swear a blue streak after a CVA.
You will need to work with the doc to see if you are looking at results of the stroke versus some depression and its manifesting as anger. Sometimes a low dose anti depressant can help either one or the other. Do discuss with the MD and so sorry you are going through this; wish you the best.
Like AlvaDeer said below, perhaps it's her depression(that you have listed as one of her issues in your profile)that is causing her to be so mean. I know that after my husband had his massive stroke his personality changed dramatically because he was also depressed. But once he was put on some anti-depressants, and started to regain some of his mobility, he went back to being more of himself though he was honestly never exactly the same of course, as a major stroke forever changes ones life, and also the lives of those of us caring for them. I know your wife is upset and frustrated about having the stroke and not being able to go and do like she used to, and sadly when someone is upset or frustrated they tend to take it out on those they love the most, which is you. I know it's easier said than done to not take it personally but really you must try. Just keep being the sweet loving husband that you always were and let her know that you're in it for the long haul. God bless you.
Stroke damage can take away the emotional "filters" people might otherwise use, the way Dementia does. Your wife may be angry and frustrated over her situation and has no subtle way of lashing out. You are the one there, so she directs her anger at you. She is more likely really angry at the whole world and at her own inability to function "normally."
wilforde The loss of blood flow to the brain as a result of a cerebrovascular accident could account for this. Her neurologist could provide the best answer.
Some stroke survivors have changes to mood stability. Called 'emotional lability'. Can appear as big mood swings or greater highs & lows. Becoming nasty or mean may be a low mood/anger response.
While you are not responsible for these moods at all, if you see any patterns or areas that seem to cause a flare up, pay attention.
Fatigue at the end of the day is common. 'Energy conservation' is a term I've heard to avoid overloading the day.
As a new Mother I am sorry to report I was a mess of emotion, low mood & probably not sweet at all by day's end. Baby took too much brain power.
With stroke, the brain is amazing for marching on. But it does weary.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
You will need to work with the doc to see if you are looking at results of the stroke versus some depression and its manifesting as anger. Sometimes a low dose anti depressant can help either one or the other. Do discuss with the MD and so sorry you are going through this; wish you the best.
I know that after my husband had his massive stroke his personality changed dramatically because he was also depressed. But once he was put on some anti-depressants, and started to regain some of his mobility, he went back to being more of himself though he was honestly never exactly the same of course, as a major stroke forever changes ones life, and also the lives of those of us caring for them.
I know your wife is upset and frustrated about having the stroke and not being able to go and do like she used to, and sadly when someone is upset or frustrated they tend to take it out on those they love the most, which is you.
I know it's easier said than done to not take it personally but really you must try. Just keep being the sweet loving husband that you always were and let her know that you're in it for the long haul.
God bless you.
While you are not responsible for these moods at all, if you see any patterns or areas that seem to cause a flare up, pay attention.
Fatigue at the end of the day is common. 'Energy conservation' is a term I've heard to avoid overloading the day.
As a new Mother I am sorry to report I was a mess of emotion, low mood & probably not sweet at all by day's end. Baby took too much brain power.
With stroke, the brain is amazing for marching on. But it does weary.
Be kind to yourselves.